Dial/Yes Loans/Keith Wilmot Chorlton

Rats deny leaving sinking ship

In an unprecedented move, the chief rat of Yes Moans denied that they are about to close down. "We may be overdue with putting our accounts into Companies House but this is just a short-term tax dodge."

As we have over 30,000 customers a month (source A. Spedding in Daily Mirror - see link below) that means we have a turnover of £15 million a month - if we put our up to date accounts into Companies House we would not be able to claim the total exemption for small businesses which we do at the moment.

The tax bill would be enormous and Keith Chorlton's ginger-haired progeny would not be able to buy their range rovers on a regular basis anymore and the staff cash-in-hand bonus system would disappear".

When questioned as to who owns Yes loans, the Speeding Rat (or should that be Spedding Rat?-ed) denied that Keith Chorlton was the owner. "All the staff know he's the boss and we even ask new staff in an exam who owns the company, answer Keith Wilmot Chorlton. The fact that he is an ex-jailbird, convicted fraudster and generally nasty piece of work is why we have to call him a 'consultant' when the Department of Trade & Industry ask if he is a director of the company or not".
"In fact it was Wilmott who came up with the idea of not putting our accounts in on time. We only have to face a fine of £1000 and can spend the next few months putting away the cashflow from Yes Moans into our own bank accounts as Her Majesty's Customs and Inland Revunue take years to track down company accounts that have not been put in".

It is rumoured that some of the directors of Yes Moans have already bought property in Spain and the New Europe where they will shortly disappear to. The staff of Yes Moans yesterday were said to be looking forward to the combined raid on the company by the DTI, HMCIR, Police, OFT, FSA etc etc. as long as it does not occur on a Thursday "As it's curry on the menu in the canteen".

**Had this come through as a mail, many a true word said in jest.

Some previous bits on Dial/Yes Loans and Keith "Wilmot" Chorlton:
http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2006/12/dialyes-loanskeith-chorlton.html

and here
http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2006/12/yes-loansdial-run-by-disqualified.html

and here
http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2006/10/keith-chorlton-post-2.html

and here:
http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2006/10/someone-i-used-to-work-for-keith.html

and also here:
http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2006/11/cpw-carphone-warehouse-strong-arm.html

The Mirror have run a wonderfull story on this sleazy little man and the people who go along with his dubous way of conducting business: http://www.mirror.co.uk/archive/tm_method=full%26objectid=18183777%26siteid=89520-name_page.html

The bit on Mr Keith Wilmot Chorlton getting banned from The Guardian: http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,235408,00.html

http://www.companieshouse.gov.uk/ddir/

http://www.blagger.com/db4/company_id/574/companyname/Yes-Loans.html

tags:Dial
Yes Loans
Gordon Bon
Mel Roberts
Gaby Cocchiria
Talk Talk
Alan Spedding

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