Jessica Morden/Peter Hain- A match made in hell

Newport MP Jessica Morden has been the PPS (Rt Hon Peter "pitch-ripper" Hain, Secretary of State), Northern Ireland Office (since 28 Mar 2007). Who for rest of this article shall be known as Peter "pitch-ripper" Hain.

Ok first off the bloody obvious jokes about a: I never knew she could type, and b: does she use his dictaphone or her finger like everyone else, sorry crap jokes but could not resist them. Well Jessica, who said recently that she wanted to be called Jess, ok our Jess has risen faster through the New Labour ranks than John Prescott with an erection.

This MP who after not being in the House of Commons due to having a baby, not that she was there much before now(last record in they work for you shows 30th October 2006) has joined up with Peter "pitch-ripper" Hain. Our Jess who never votes against the government, might as well have a hatstand in the house, one would think that an MP would makes its own mind up on issues rather than just being a rubber stamp, she was flown in to take the safe Newport seat at the last election.

Her reward for the sterling work she did for the party in savaging Ron "Badger" Davies. Still makes a change from 30 pieces of silver I suppose. Party hack Jess savages Ron over his moment of madness

Party chiefs are furious Mr Davies misled them over reports in The Sun that he groped a builder after luring him into bushes at a gay cruising area near Bath on Monday. The former MP was summoned to explain himself to Jessica Morden, the general secretary of the Wales Labour Party.

Still it is nice to know that we have a good old fashioned party apparatchnik who having done the party's dirty work will now reap the rewards, I am sure that her time will Peter "pitch-ripper" Hain will instill in her the true New Labour values of duplicity, double standards, bullshit and nastiness that we have come to expect from pitch-ripper Hain.

Pitch-ripper Hain announced his candidacy on 12th September 2006,for the position of Deputy Leader of the Labour Party (the current Deputy Leader, John "2inches" Prescott, is expected to resign at the same time as Tony Blair in 2007) - Needless to say that as his star rises our Jess will also rise to the heady hights of the New Labour elite.

Previous bit on Jess: Some random bits on Jessica Morden MP, sorry Jess as she would rather be called.

Tags: Jessica Morden, New Labour, Peter Hain

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