THE BEST JOKE EVER

A Doctor was addressing a large audience: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realises the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

Like it Centurion, nice one.
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And fuck you Camilla.

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This I found amusing.
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And I have to post this as carpet kissers wont like it.
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And talking of jokes that brings me of course to Deputy PM Prescott: Whilst the real politicians are away he is now the tour guide of No 10. (Still makes a change from serving pink gins!)

Prescott gives family No 10 tour

Look I can be a real politician, honest I can. I was in the Commons only the other week, and thats more than Jessica Morden has done! A family were given an impromptu tour of Number 10 after they bumped into John Prescott in Whitehall. The Patel family were invited in to the famous address after they got chatting to the deputy prime minister, who is standing in for holidaying Tony Blair. Pinakin and Premila Patel, of Harrow, north west London, were looking at a new war memorial to women with their daughters when Mr Prescott approached. IT consultant Mr Patel said Mr Prescott was a good guide who "knew his stuff". The deputy prime minister had abandoned his Jaguar, after a meeting with ministerial colleagues, in favour of a stroll in the August sunshine. It was certainly a good holiday highlight Pinakin Patel He struck up a conversation with the family as they looked at the memorial to women who had contributed to the war effort. Then, to their surprise, he asked if they fancied taking a look inside the seat of power. Mr Patel said: "I was totally taken aback - I thought he was joking at first, and then I thought maybe he only meant the kids, but it was all of us. "It was a really pleasant surprise and they loved it, it was certainly a good holiday highlight. "I don't think they realise the importance of what takes place there but they will in the future and they'll remember it forever." 'Main guy' He continued: "It was more for the kids, it was more on their level. "It was almost like a private tour. He knows his stuff. "They thought he was a very nice man, but I don't think they understood that he is the main guy in the absence of Tony Blair." Once inside, the family got to see the Cabinet Room, the White Room, which is often the setting for interviews, and the Grand Staircase with portraits of Britain's previous prime ministers. Dont Annoy him Mr Patel he has been known to lash out! After a 15-minute private tour, the Patels were then escorted out by Mr Prescott. When asked for his personal assessment of Mr Prescott, the 38-year-old father of three said: "For the day he was great." It is not the first time the deputy prime minister has treated families to unexpected tours of the corridors of power. His spokesman said he had previously shown families around his own historic offices, the Commons and Downing Street.

Fat Lardy Cunt With A Small Cock

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