** Had this piss take sent to me about George Best. Considering the amount of TV time handed over to this piss head, wife beating slob I was half expecting the Papacy to announce that he was being nomined for sainthood - guess even drunks need a patron saint whilst pissing and shitting themselves and being hauled in by the police. Yes truely it was sickening seeing the vast hoards of 2nd grade tv celebs going on about "lovable ol George" for hour after tedious hour.
So here we go a "tribute" to a waste of space who not only wrecked his own liver but stopped someone else living a long life with the replacement they gave this drunk.
Revealed: Best Was Allowed One Last Death-Bed Bender
Written by John Butler
Best: Footballing genius who got "hammered" on death bed.
Amid the universal outpouring of grief over football legend George Best's death last week, it was revealed today that his doctor, Professor Roger Williams, authorised the hooking up of 10 bottles of vodka, 13 large ciders, and a bottle of vintage Chardonay 14% wine, to Best's veins just hours before his passing in order to give the moribund icon one last high.
At a hastily convened press conference, Prof. Williams explained, "This was done entirely in accordance with George's dying wishes. His family had handed to me last week a written contract where George stipulates that "in the event of my reaching the point of no return, I beseech my doctor to do everything in his power to get me absolutely rat-arsed for one last time". As George's chief medic, the resposiblity to intoxicate him way beyond recommended levels of alcohol consumption fell upon my shoulders".
Best's son, Calum said "I could see my father smile as the the eleventh cider made it through".
Others present said they could clearly see "George becoming visibly more at ease with himself as the intoxicants flowed through the transparent intravenous pipes like a hungry hamster negotiating a straightforward maze". Some say Best used alcohol to rid himself of his famously parylising shyness.
Bursting onto the scene for Matt Busby's Manchester United as a handsome eighteen year old with a dazzling array of ballskills, Best would later become as famous for his off the field boozing as he was for his on the field genius.
News of his one last hammered hurrah has been met with indignation among anti-alcohol groups and organ donor foundations.
Kate Regest of SNTAFFBPWNBTDTTOHTLTL (Say-No-To-Alcohol-Foundation-For-Boring-People-With-Nothing-Better-To-Do-
Than-Tell-Others-How-To-Live-Their-Lives) said, "We are all very sad about Mr. Best's untimely death but what kind of example is he setting to all the other pathetic drunks trying to overcome their addiction? Are we all to give into temptation as readily? Surely it would have better for everyone if he had chosen to die in dignified sobriety".
But die in dignity he did. Prof Williams revealed that seconds before George's death he miraculously awoke, sat up, pinched one of the nurses's asses, and drunkenly mumbled, "How about it babes- me and you - in the janitors closet? C'mon, whaddya say love?", before suddenly collapsing onto his pillow again, this time into an irreversible coma.
** Cheers for sending me that one Arthur.
** Finally a cartoon on the peace loving democratic state of Iran:
As Plain As...
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2 people have spoken:
your article is won of the worst i've seen. A wife beating scumbag that was one of the best players ever. You focus on his personal life, it must be because you cared so mush about him. If he was brazilian, no one would have cared how much of a drunk he was. You're obviously trying to say that he was a waster, with your stupid quotes. if he was, you wouldn't have heard of him. you should try cliff diving mate.
And now he is a dead wife beating scumfuck, the world a bit better off for his not being in it.
Toddle pip ol chap.
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