Christmas Over For Another Year & Mugabe Attacked By Goat.

**Well all the Christmas celebrations are over now. I have been away at my parents for a few days with my better half. Spent Christmas Eve watching the world celebrate Christmas in their various fashions. In the UK everyone got drunk, claimed total strangers were their best mate in the world ever and in France they burned over 100 cars. France still has problems with muslim savages and lacks the bottle to suppress rioting in their own nation

Still each to their own as they say. Some more good news in the fact that Dictator and murdering son of a bitch Bob Mugabe was attached, but not fatally alas by a goat... Now all we need is some other farm animals to take out that looney Chavez, UN Leader Koffing Anus and the leader of Iran...posted the story below.

A billy goat did some rough, instant justice to the President when his motorcade stopped to refuel en-route to the eastern resorts of Nyanga. The president, popularly known as Bob got out to stretch his legs, and speak to a couple locals. He was holding a bottle of water, when a Billy goat developed a profound interest and chose to pursue it. Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel. Mugabe's notorious bodyguards seemed unable to prevent the attack as the goat lunged towards the president, perhaps the goat should be handling his security in future. By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.

It is not clear why the president was visiting Nyanga but Zimdaily understands Mugabe has a secret passion for gambling. He is rumoured to have visited Montclair Hotel in Nyanga endless times to fulfill his gambling desires, as he cannot use the facilities in Harare Showgrounds for security reasons. Grace Mugabe, the president's young wife, is believed to be in Pretoria doing what she does best, last minute shopping for Xmas.

Rumours are mounting that the couple have a strained relationship and to be in separate countries so close to the festive season is a telling indicator that this is indeed likely to be true. It is almost common knowledge that they no longer sleep in the same bed, so this twist in events is unlikely to make that much of a difference to a marriage that seems to revolve around convenience.

The president is also rumoured to be in the process of acquiring a private jet to allow him to make more frequent, long distance trips more securely and to reduce the burden of fueling hassles. He is expected to join Grace and the children in South Africa once the doctors give him the all clear.

** Lets just hope that the goat does not disapear along with its owners in some "re-education camp". The first blow for freedom has been struck for the people of Zimbabwe, one day that goat will have a huge statue put up in the capitol....who knows maybe it wants to be president, after all it has more intelligence than Bob Mugabe

The British government have put forward the Winter Festival Bill in preparation for next years Winter Festival. A Labour spokeswoman said "The Winter Festival Bill aims to open up the present distribution network to competition, to bring the operation into line with European health and safety regulations and to ensure that the Winter Festival is more responsive to the needs of our modern, multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and diverse society." The Winter Festival Bill was devised by the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister following a 48 hour consultation period with representatives from minority groups and the European Union. The Bill will require all homes to complete a health and safety assessment and obtain a Festive Visitor insurance certificate before presents will be delivered for the Winter Festival. When questioned about the cost of the new regulations, Chancellor Gordon Brown said "A tax will be introduced to pay for the administration of the new regulations in England. An extra £5bn has been allocated to cover the cost of the scheme in Scotland and Wales." An investigation by the EU Competition Commission has found that Santa Holding Corporation is operating a monopoly on the delivery of gifts for the Winter Festival and has ordered the industry to be opened up to competition. To this end, the Winter Festival Bill will provide for the establishment of regional franchises which will be tendered for by interested providers. The EU has set aside €300m to help subsidise deliveries to the less profitable regions of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Deliveries across the English regions will not be subsidised but will instead be staggered throughout the end of December and the beginning of January. A spokesman for the SNP immediately objected to the bill on the grounds that gift delivery should be devolved to the Scottish Parliament and demanded that an extra £3bn be allocated to Scotland to offset the costs of the new regulations, whatever they might turn out to be. Under the bill, four new agencies will be set up to administer the operation of gift deliveries under the Winter Festival Bill. Winter Festival Scotland, the Welsh Winter Festival Observatory Body, Your Winter Festival Northern Ireland and Winter Festival Britain will take over the regulation of Winter Festival gift deliveries with effect from the 1st January.

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