Tony Blairs Top 50

Tony Blair's Achievements
Tony Blair's top 50 achievements since being elected in 1997: (thanks to vented spleen for this. So so true, check out the original post here...http://vented-spleen.blogspot.com/) Left most of the original comments as they are, but added a few of my own.

1. Lowest inflation since the 60s
Well unsurprising given that we’ve stopped using the Retail Prices Index... if you have a look at the Retail Prices Index since the 60s (which you can do here) you’ll see that this isn’t really the case.

2. Low interest rates
Even an old Tory like your good Gutternsipe here can’t fault the decision to let the Bank of England set the interest rates. What fecks me off is that Blair and Brown keep claiming credit for the low interest rates when it wasn’t their decision. Would they take the blame if the BOE put interest rates up to 25%? I doubt it.

3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage
Great.... what we have now is a shit load of illegal immigrants who work below minimum wage and don’t comlplain about it since its more money than they’ve seen in their life. Meanwhile the low end of the pay scale workers in Britain faced redundancy rather than the glittering pay rise that the minimum wage offered. Twat!

4. Record police numbers in England and Wales
No record numbers of Community Support Officers in England and Wales. No powers, cheaper alternative but nice uniform. Record crime levels as well – figures. Oh and they all work the 9-5 shift, no trawling the inner city pubs at half 11 for them.

5. Cut overall crime by 35 per cent
No you fecking haven’t. It’s well established that the only person to have cut crime on his watch was Michael Howard. However much you may dislike him the stats back him up. Again Zanu New Labour have redefined crime, distorted the figures to the point where they mean nothing.

6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools
Then how come record numbers of school leavers can’t read and write? It wasn’t like this under Major.

7. Best-ever primary school results
Only ever primary school results since it was Blair that started all the tests and league tables.

8. Funding for every pupil in England to double (since 1997) by 2007-08
Just a shame it hasn’t been done yet.

9. Lowest unemployment for 29 years
But the jobless total has risen given that most people who were ‘unemployed’ before are now on disability. Those that have got jobs are doing jobs we don’t need doing in the public sector. Nice figures massage if you can get it.

10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries
While getting the UK into the most debt it has ever seen without a low tax level to bail it out when the payments get too much. Indeed lets let off debtor nations and encourge them not to borrow and save for the future, after all why worry about bills when the UK will write off your debts.

11. 78,700 more nurses
More nursing graduates maybe but 1 in 4 can’t find a vacancy.

12. 27,400 more doctors
All Indian since all our universiy entrants are studying diversity theory, or corporate treehugging.

13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards
But the nurses aren’t nursing, they’re off being Nurse Practitioners and pretending to be doctors.

14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament
Yes... the power to vote on English Tuition fees without allowing the reciprocal courtesy.

15. Devolved power to Welsh Assembly
To do what exactly? Well they generate a lot of hot air, cost the tax payers a lot of money and rubber stamp EU laws. A bit like our rump parliment that we have in London only more expensive.

16. Banned anti-personnel mines
Did we use anti-personnel mines under the Tories?

17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice at any time
Which you may remember is stopping because nobody uses it, it’s crap and is going to become a digital TV station instead. How about opening a few hospitals? Oh sorry.. you don’t have the money do you?

18. New Deal - helped over a million people into work
Nope.... kept a million people dependent on the state for a reasonable income.

19. Local government funding has increased by a third in real terms
OK we all know the use of the words ‘in real terms’ means ‘we’re talking absolute knackers’. Funding may be up but its spent on press officers and diversity advisers when what we want is clean streets and good community facilities.

20. Equalised the age of consent for gay men
OK

21. Free entry to all national museums and galleries
Let’s rewrite that shall we? “21. Banned national museums from charging entry” – no further investment and now national treasures such as the Royal Armouries, British Museum and Imperial War Museum are resorting to begging bowls in the foyer.

22. Overseas aid budget more than doubled
Nice to know our hard earned money is propping up Somalian Islamism eh? Not to mention dictator states, repressive African/South American/Asian states. In short any tin pot junta who needs a few quid need only offer Blair and co a neat arms contract and its job done.

23. Restored city-wide government to London
So far we’ve had 3 devolution arguments which is basically claiming “Tony delegated 3 areas of his responsibility to someone else” hardly an achievement. That’s like me saying one of my great achievements is getting Lady Guttersnipe to sit my Driving Test.

24. Child benefit up 25 per cent since 1997
In line with Retail Price Index Inflation so not really an achievement is it? Besides why should tax payers fund other peoples lifestyle choices?

25. Created Sure Start to help children from low income households
Yet all the surveys show Sure Start to be a complete failure. The only people who think otherwise are Blair sycophants and Polly Toynbee.

26. Introduced the Disability Rights Commission
Because the Disabled didn’t have rights before?

27. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & extra £100 for over-80s
Yeah... but only in election year wasn’t it?

28. The biggest rolling stock replacement programme ever seen on our railways
Done by the private companies that run the train services. Why don’t we focus on fleecing Railtrack’s shareholders? Whether you like RailTrack or not those people have a right to their investment being returned.

29. Negotiated the historic Good Friday Agreement in Northern Ireland
Yeah... how’s that going along now...Oh lets see organised crime, sectarian shootings, all in all business as usual in Northern Ireland.

30. Over 30,000 more teachers in England schools
No... 30,000 more classroom assistants in schools. See Community Support Officers above.

31. Implemented the Freedom of Information Act
But only after you shredded anything we wanted to read.

32. All workers now have a right to 4 weeks’ paid holiday
And bosses who couldn't afford to meet that commitment laid their staff off - how's that good for the worker? Also if companies change the contract every 3 months they can get away with no paid holidays, sucks the big one but fully legal and no Zanu New Labour MP has even looked into that matter.

33. Record rises in the state pension
And record amounts of taxation on private pension funds so they’re going to need it now. Again lets redefine record rises...

34. 700,000 children lifted out of relative poverty
By redefining poverty.

35. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents
Oh yes... more money to parents. How can I possibly be grateful that people seem to deserve my hard earned money simply because they have had a child? And then you go and overpay by £2m quid.

36. Banned handguns
Banned our Olympic Pistol Shooting Team (for which we go Gold, you’ll need that come 2012). The criminals on the other hand have more handguns than ever before.

37. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent
By getting them all on media degrees and aromatherapy courses, in fact anything other than a fucking job!

38. Free nursery places for three and four-year-olds in England, Scotland and Wales
Er.... we had state nurseries before... Guttersnipe went to one, the last time I checked it still wasn’t charging.

39. Free fruit for all four to six-year-olds at school
No doubt to supplement that diet of Turkey Twizzlers and shite that the state feeds our already fat fecktard children.

40. Free school milk for five, six and seven-year-olds in Wales
Given that it’s Wales only I’d put this down as a Welsh Assembly achievement which I believe Bliar isn’t a member of. This was done via the EU, memo passed to Welsh Assembly, so the Euro Johnnies managed to get something done right for a change, oh hang on my taxes are paying for this so no.

41. Record police numbers in Scotland
See above but substitute Scottish Parliament for Welsh Assembly.

42. Implemented the Human Rights Act
And made sure his Human Rights Barrister wife was never out of work while the rest of us are now surrounded by Islamist goons waiting to explode at a moment’s notice. Great if your a prisoner getting legal aid to sue the prison office for not allowing you hardcore porn, or some feckless type out for a quick buck but of bugger all use to the rest of us.

43. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since the industrial revolution
So let me get this straight.... during the Industrial Revolution our rivers were cleaner? Again redefine cleanest rivers...

44. Free TV licences for over-75s
However the licence fee went through the roof for the rest of us. Seriously we still have to pay for all the bullshit that the BBC puts out.

45. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals
er... we didn’t have these things in the UK before 1997.

46. Halved maximum waiting times for NHS operations
No... you declared that the maximum allowed waiting time would be halved, the hospitals still miss these targets and the patients still wait for the operations.

47. Free local bus travel for over-60s
No.... free National Express bus travel for the over 60s.

48. Record number of students in higher education
Because the A levels are easier and the courses are shite. How many media degrees do we need?

49. Extended the Race Relations Act so that all public bodies and functions now have a duty to promote race equality
And as such allowed a culture of political correctness to such an extent that the straight white working male feels like a minority.

50. Five, six and seven-year-olds in class sizes of 30 or less
Mentored by a classroom assistant and still unable to read.

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