"Great idea Tony how will we go about it?" said Prescott
"Well" said Blair, "we'll get ourselves one of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick and a flat cap, oh and a Labrador. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a nice old country pub, in Much Something or other or one of those villages and we'll show we really enjoy the Countryside." "Right Oh" said Prescott.
So a few days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Labrador(that would no doubt be a certain Mr David Blunkett's guide dog Sadie, Blunkett is a former Home Sec and scribbler for The Scum newspaper) at heel, they set off from London in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for (Much Piddling-in-the-Brook) and found a lovely country pub (The Surly Yokel) and with the dog, went in and up to the bar.
"Good evening Landlord may we have two pints of your best ale, from the Wood?" said Blair. "Good evening Prime Minister" said the landlord,' two pints of best it is, coming up'.
Blair and Prescott stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet. All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old shepherd, complete with crook. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later, in came another old shepherd with his crook. He walked up to the dog, lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next half hour or so several other locals came in, lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually Blair and Prescott could stand it no longer and called the Barman over. "Tell me," said Blair, "why did all those old shepherds and locals come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it a local custom?'
"Good Lord no," said the barman. "It's just that someone went and told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two arseholes".
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