Found some bits on our monovisioned Chancellor in this weeks Private Eye:
Slipped away in the depths of the recent budget, a hard thing to stay awake through if you have ever listened to Mr Brown drone on in his monotone voice. But government accounting, will be changing to international rules from 2008/9. The change comes as the Treasury's Financial Reporting Advisory Board(FRAB) was about to insist that the accountancy fiddle that kept PFI deals "off the balance sheet" be reversed.
That would have meant restating earlier years figures and very probably showing that Brown had already broken his "sustainable investment rule" that public debt must not exceed 40% of gross GDP..
By agreeing to the rule change, this humilation for the cyclopedian one will be averted. Old figures don't have to be put on the new footing, if doing so is "impractical" and it won't be hard to claim that with over 700 PFI schemes across the public sector.
Although FRAB has been placated, there's still the problem of what to do when the change comes through in a couple of years time and on Gordon'd latest projections, the 40% limit is broken.
By a remarkable coincidence, when questioned on the rule by the Tresury selcect committee of MPs two weeks ago, the Chancellor announced that it was "under review" - So just when it looks like the 40% rule was going to be broken, it instead can be conviently scrapped.
Oh and if anything does go wrong, then you can bet the blame will be passed to a junior minister or anyone else - via a briefing in the Daily Mail.
Tags: Gordon Brown, Homosexuality, New Labour, Amoral Cunts,Macacity
(And of course that classic poem.)
Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Clunking Paw—
For he's the ten-year Chancellor who taxes more and more.
He's the bafflement of Tyneside North, he’s Darlington’s despair:
For when they’re sacked or briefed against—Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
He's broken every golden rule—he breaks the law of amity.
His off balance sheet accounting would make Robert Maxell stare,
But when you open up the books—Macavity's not there!
You may search the whole Smith Institute, or the Cash-for-Honours affair—
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!
Macavity's a peculiar cat—he's full of tricks and wiles.
He mutters and he mumbles and he hardly ever smiles.
He scarcely talks to colleagues, his head is highly domed
His suit is dusty from neglect, his hair is all uncombed.
He juts his jaw from side to side; he never can relax.
Except when he is planning to impose his hundredth tax.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a grudge in human form, a monster of depravity.
He won’t support tuition fees; he won’t back Tony Blair.
And as for foundation hospitals—well, Macavity's not there!
The Cabinet is stuck with him. (It’s said they live in fear.)
And he gives his Budget to the House exactly once a year.
But when defence is looted, or the pension funds are rifled,
Or the tax credits go missing, or John Hutton is found stifled,
Or a greenhouse gas is rising, and Lord Turnbull in despair—
Ay, there's the wonder of the thing! Macavity's not there!
And if he doesn’t like you, then you know that, without fail
You’ll wake up to nasty briefings printed in the Daily Mail.
There may be a scap of paper in the hall or on the stair
But it's useless to investigate—Macavity's not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the civil service say:
"It must have been Macavity!"—but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him brooding, or a-chewing of his hand
As he works out how exactly to get rid of Miliband.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macacity,
He’s doesn’t care for social grace; he’s short on charm and suavity.
He always has an alibi, or one or two to spare:
And whatever time the leak took place—MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all his colleagues who hold his name in dread
(I might mention Norwich South; I might mention Birkenhead.)
Are nothing more than ciphers for the Cat who never lacks
An excuse to raise some revenue: the Napoleon of Tax!
Tags: Gordon Brown, Homosexuality, New Labour, Amoral Cunts,Macacity
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