Some various bad taste jokes.

Away for a few days, so here a load of bad taste jokes. Something to offend everyone...I hope.

Alcohol free lager...like licking your sisters twat...tastes the same as the rest but just doesn't feel right.

Bus load of thalidimide muslims been shot on the way into the UK ... they were found to be bringing small arms in.

What's the difference between Basil Brush and a suicide bomber?
A suicide bomber only goes BOOM once.

Two moslems go into a club....Boom boom...

Al-Qaeda accidently recruited a dyslexic into their ranks.
They now have the worlds first suicide bummer.

The Glasgow car bomber got let off on the terrorism charge.
But don't worry they got him for smoking in public!

A Muslim woman knocked on my front door last night - I spoke to her through the letterbox............ See how she fucking likes it!

An Arab buys a camel and he proudly decides to ride it around his local pub carpark, causing a bit of a stir with the local drinkers.
"Nice camel mate," One of the drinkers commented, "Is it male or female?"
"It's female!" said the Arab.
"How can you tell?" said the drinker.
"Well," the Arab explained, "on the way here today, at least twenty people yelled out,'Hey, Look at the dirty, smelly cunt on that camel!"

Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
Because it's full of Arab semen.

It is the year 2032, and a father and his son walk the streets of lower Manhattan. Approaching the site where the World Trade Center used to be in the end of the 20th century, the father sighs and comments, "to think that right here used to be the Twin Towers..."

The son, not understanding, asks his father "What are the Twin Towers?" The father smiles and looks at the son, and explains, "The Twin Towers were two huge buildings that used to be here until 2001, when the Arabs destroyed them."

The son looks up to his father, and asks, "And what are the Arabs?

How does a shoe bomber walk?
Fucking carefully is my guess.

An illegal migrat went into a bar and asked "Could you recommend your finest port?"
"Yes," said the barman. "Dover. Now fuck off."

How do you get rid of the red spot on an illegal migrants head?
Switch off the laser-sight on your gun.

Mr Singh. goes to heaven. When he gets to the pearly gates, St. Peter takes one look at him and says "sorry no Asians allowed in heaven," but Mr. Singh pleads that he's a good bloke who has led a saintly life. He says, "Just last week I gave £20 to Children In Need, £30 to Help The Aged and £50 to Comic Relief".
St. Peter thinks for a while then goes inside to speak to God then comes back. "Sorry mate, I've had a word with God... He says, 'here's your £100 quid back, now fuck off!'"

Asylum seeker at the side of the road eating grass. Man pulls up in his car and says "Hey! Don't eat that. Come home with me and I'll feed you."
The asylum seeker replies "I have 4 wives and 12 kids, can they come too?"
Man says "Fuck off, I've only got a small lawn!"

What's the difference between E.T and an asylum seeker?
E.T looked better, learnt English, wanted to go home and gave the fucking bike back.

What have sperm and immigrants got in common?
Millions of the bastards get in but only one of the fuckers works!

1000 asylum seekers were asked if they thought Britain should change its currency to the Euro.
But 99% said no, they were happy with the Giro.

Raj was trying to get into the U.K legally. The officer said "You have to pass a test to enter. You must make a sentance using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Raj replied "De telephone goes 'Green Green' - 'Green Green', den I pink it up and say "Yellow"
Raj now works in a call centre near you!

What do you call a Serbian prostitute ?
Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch.

Good news - the BBC has just reported that record numbers of people are leaving the UK.
The bad news is most of them are white.

What do you call an Pakistani alcoholic?
Mustafa pint.

What do you call an Indian male prostitute?
Suka Mideek.

Why is Mumbai so called?
I'm off to England Mum, bye.

What do you call a Paki standing in between two houses?
Ali.

What does Tehran have in common with Hiroshima?
Nothing yet.

three guys ... a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an British engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and when they pick it up a Genie pops out.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land in Canada to be forever fertile."
POOOOF! With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Laden was amazed at this display, so he said, "I want an impenetrable wall to be set up around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran with all believers of Mohammad inside and all Jews, Americans, British and other infidels forever outside our precious state."
POOOOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, a huge wall appeared around those countries. The British engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries ... it's virtually impenetrable.
Now what is YOUR wish?"
The British engineer smiles, and says, "Fill it with water."

British weather, it's just like a Muslim, either Sunni or Shi'ite.

200 muslims have been killed on their way to mecca.
I fucking love bingo!

A car bomb has been found outside a Mosque in London.
Scotland Yard have stated that the public have nothing to worry about as they've managed to push it inside!!

One for Trevor Phillips...A teacher is teaching her class of children basic spelling.
Firstly she turns to little blonde Sue in the front row and asks her “how do you spell the word, cat?”
“That’s easy, C A T,” replies Sue very pleased with herself.
The teacher is happy and rewards her with a cookie.
Then she turns to Billy, “How do you spell dog?”
“D O G, Miss,” to which she replies, “Well done Billy and gives him a cookie as well.
Finally, she turns to Mohammad and asks him, “How do you spell racial discrimination?”

A Muslim in our street has doused himself in petrol, set fire to himself and burnt to death.......
We're having a collection for his family...
So far, we've got 80 litres!!!

Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!

Police ask the driver of the Virgin train that crashed what caused the accident.
"Muslims." he replied.
"What," said the copper, "on the track?"
"No, On the embankment but I still got the cunts !"

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb? None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

A Muslim man has just driven his car into the retaining wall of the Sheffield Reservoir.
Police believe it may be the start of Ramadam.

What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
Lefty!

How many muslims does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Their faith doesn't allow change.

I've found another place where you can find over 75,000 Muslim jokes!
It's called Bradford.

Little Ahmed says to his little sister Geeta, "Let's play doctors and nurses".
Little Geeta says, "Where are we going to get petrol and gas cannistors at our age".....

Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead muslim?
Theres no skid marks before the muslim

Two Muslim women are walking down the road with tight fitting rucksacks, when one says to the other "does my bomb look big in this?"

What do you call two gay Muslims?
Rhammit and Jhammit

Scientists have warned that 260,000 muslims could die as a result of global warming.
On a more serious note, Douglas from the Lurpack adverts has melted.

Baggge handlers at Glasgow Airport were said to be furious when the Indian they had ordered turned up burnt.........!

What do you call a scouse muslim?
Osma Bin Laid Off

Diana jokes

Some more on Diana

Former Mrs Paul McCartney

Some more on her

McCann Joke

Some more on the publicy seeking McCanns

And more on the publicity seeking McCanns

Fred Thompson

And some facts about Fred Thompson

And facts about Chuck Norris

Tags: Sick Jokes, Bad taste, Humour,

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