David Miliband - Shits a brick again. This time its the British Council

Foreign Sec. David Milicunt has done what David Milicunt does best and shit a brick with regards the ongoing diplomatic argument with Russia.

From The Times: link

The Russian Bear was roused to fury, and to David Miliband fell the tricky task of telling him that his behaviour was unacceptable - and that we are not going to do anything about it.

**Much the same way that Milicunt in his previous role as head of Defra avoiding doing anything with regards Shambo, then avoiding doing anything to help Gillian Gibbons whilst she was stuck in the Sudan.

We are pleased to report that the Foreign Secretary rose magnificently to the challenge of sounding tough while declining to act. Mr Miliband began by describing some of the indignities to which British Council staff were subjected when interviewed by the Russian security services: "Questioning ranged from the institutional status of the British Council to personal questions about the health and welfare of family pets."

This is where the whole affair could have spiralled out of control. The discovery that the Bear is threatening our cats and dogs, not to mention our ponies, parrots, mice, hamsters and goldfish, is enough to make John Bull's blood boil.

But before the full horror of these menaces could sink in, Mr Miliband adopted the prudent course of suggesting that it is the Russians themselves who will suffer most from behaving like this: "Mr Speaker, I think the whole House will agree that such actions are reprehensible, not worthy of a great country."

Having seized the moral high ground, Mr Miliband celebrated Britain's commitment to high culture: "Nor do we believe that cultural activities should become a political football... That is why I have decided not to take similar action against Russia's cultural activities in the UK, for example by sending back Russian masterpieces scheduled for show at the Royal Academy."

**Of course what Milicunt misses is that in tit for tat politics the one side does one thing, then the other in order not to lose face has to respond. Finally everyone announces that they have won and things get back to normal. Russia sees its actions as point scoring over the UK - an as we have done and will do nothing - they are right.

What magnificent self-restraint our Government has shown. We could have hurled those paintings back in the Russians' faces, but that would have been the act of a coward, for as Mr Miliband said: "We have nothing to fear from these contacts; we welcome and encourage them."

So the whole burden of this affair will fall on the Bear rather than on John Bull: "The immediate cost to the Russian people of the Russian government's action is their access to the benefits of British Council activity. The longer term cost is their country's standing in the world as a responsible international player."

A few of the most philistine MPs may for a moment or two have reflected that reduced access to contemporary British drama is not a terribly high price for the Russians to pay. But the key was that John Bull's pride had been saved.

And yet one or two hotheads still wanted to indulge in the anachronistic sport of Bear-baiting. Denis MacShane (Lab, Rotherham), a former Europe minister, declared in a martial tone: "We have to stand up to this bullying by the Bear."

**I wonder if the smell of Foreign Sec. David Milicunts nappy needing to be changed filled the house at that point? The coward Milicunt and bottler Brown act? Never going to happen.

David Winnick (Lab, Walsall North) trumped this by advising the Russians to bear in mind that "having lost one Cold War they're not likely to win another". It would certainly be surprising if a second Cold War were to break out because the Russian security services have threatened the pets of some locally engaged British Council staff.

The statesmanlike way in which Mr Miliband defused this crisis and led Britain and Russia back from the brink has put fresh heart into members of the DM4PM campaign, who could be found celebrating late into the night in the gastro pubs of Primrose Hill.

**Oh on a related matter we have the harassment of British Council apparatchik Stephen Kinnock, son of Lord Kinnock of Bedwetting for refusing to take a breath test, claiming diplomatic immunity.

David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary, described Russia’s behaviour as reprehensible.

Yet refusing a breath test for the rest of us-non diplomats - is a criminal offense. Maybe the son of Lord Kinnock of Bedwetting should have taken the test, after all even if it had been positive he could have later claimed diplomatic immunity.

Or does Milicunt think that its okay for UK diplomats to go and drive around Russian streets after a few too many drinks?

**Latest score: Russia 2 - UK 0

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