Josef Fritzl jokes.

Will cellars be called "Austrian rooms" by estate agents from now on?

I say, I say I say: What has a bottle of wine and an Austrian woman got in common? They both mature in cellars....

After it emerged that a man locked his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and inflicted beatings and rape, the world reacted with shock upon hearing the news. All except the muslim community who couldn't understand what all the fuss was about...

What's the population of Austria? About twice as many as you'd think

Austrian Women are like good wine....left to mature in a cellar.

Just when you thought that Maddie had won the International hide and seek championship a bloody Austrian romps away with the title with 24 years.

I've just bought this Austrian girls diary off ebay. Its not very interesting it just says:
Monday: Stayed in
Tuesday: Stayed in
Wednesday: Stayed in.

Good news - the austrian cellar rapist is going to face the death penalty. Bad news - John Terry is going to take it

Picture the scene; 1984, a supermarket in Austria.
Josef Fritzl; "Now, Elisabeth, give me a hand with putting these groceries in the trolley."
Elisabeth; "Up yours, Dad! I'm eighteen! I wanna go to the Wham concert with my friends, then see Ghostbusters at the cinema, and there's nothing you can do about it, old man!"
Josef; "Just wait 'till I get you home, young lady! You're gonna get such a hiding..."

Austrian authorities have said that Josef Fritzl has been improving as a father as of late.
In fact, police have said that he has "Been coming into his own".

It's a good job Shannon Matthews was found - imagine finding her in 24 years with 7 kids who look just like her.

After their lifetime of sexual abuse, psychiatrists treating the Fritzl children have decided its best to bring in a Catholic Priest.
Not for spiritual guidance, but to avoid withdrawal symptoms.

I'm sweating like an Austrian at a family reunion.

So, a daughter in the cellar, and an axe murderer in the closet.
I can't help but feel the Austrians are taking the game of Cluedo a little too seriously.

Why don't Austrians care whether their lovers are 4, 14 or 40 years old? Because one size Fritz-all.

You know you're hiding a really dirty secret when instead of having skeletons in the closet, you've got inbred children in the cellar...

You know you've got a shit sex life when some woman locked in a cellar for 24 years is getting it more than you!!.....

Josef Fritzl from Austria had his daughter locked in his cellar for 24 years. If only Karen Matthews could've thought of that.

It has just been revealed that Brian Blessed's wife has been found in a cellar beneath their house. The cellar was completely sound proof. The twist is she built it herself. [Paul Merton]

I have just seen on TV about that Austrian bloke who imprisoned his daughter, sexually abused her and then fathered 7 kids. I think it was called "The Sound Of Music".... Does that make them the Von Trapped family?

Shannon Matthews mum burst into tears when she heard about the locked away Austrian Kids!! She said later ....................All that fuckin wasted child benefit!

If only Adolf had called his mate Josef Fritzl to build his bunker.
The allies would never have found him.

When an Austrian man was asked when he should start to teach his daughter about sex education, he replied "You should keep them in the dark as long as possible."

To be fair to Josef Fritzl, the Austrian fella, he did put his daughter up for adoption, but the childrens' home in Jersey said their cellar was already full.

News reporters have said that All those children who were kept in that Austrian cellar survived entirely on Toast and sandwiches...its a good job they were all interbred !!

Karen Matthews has 7 kids by five different men. Now an Austiran has 5 by his own daughter? Typical. We invent these sports and then Johnny Foreginer goes and beats us at them all

What's Elizabeth Fritzl's favourite vegetable?
Celery.

Held for twenty four years in a cellar without windows - Elizabeth Fritzl is reported as saying she's looking forward to finally being able to play Minesweeper.

Josef Fritzl Ltd.

Underground Construction Experts.

Previous Clients:
Jersey Boys Home
25 Cromwell St
Jerry McCann Holiday Homes

"Hiding someone from the rest, Josef Fritzl Ltd is the Best!"

Your mother is your sister
Your grandad came and kissed her
He says he can't resist her
The Fritzl family

Your sister is your mother
Your son, he is your brother
You all fuck one another
The Fritzl family


Josef Fritzl is delighted that his sentence has been reduced to 100 hours community service.
He has been ordered to spend it teaching Gerry McCann how to lock a fucking door.


I wonder what Elizabeth Fritzl's children are getting their sister for Mothers Day this year.


Light goes on. Rape. Light goes off. Rape.
Josef Fritzl's daily routine in prison isn't going to change that much from before he was arrested, is it?
Just the roles may be reversed.

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