Gordon Brown - Some random thoughts.

Our one eyed leader has not been having a good time of it over recent months and what with global economic conditions getting worse by all accounts and him having maturated away much of the nations wealth things will be getting rather bad here in the UK.

What with the fall of socialist safe seat Glasgow East it looks like Gordon will be out, either thrown out at some point by his party or by the voters when he has finally summoned up the courage to face them that is in an election.

I am sure that he has by now (if tales are true about his temper tantrums) thrown his mobile and chewed out some employees of No.10. He will sulk, pout, skulk and then announce a new raft of policies - like the infamous "British jobs for British workers." - oh and promised to "listen to voters".

The problem with Gordon is that he thinks that he is right, so he will not listen and is determined to get his message across and if the 60 million plus people here in the UK don't like it, well they are wrong and Gordon will educate them until they see the error of their ways.

Once out of a job he will be worse. Seriously if you think that Gordon Brown is an insurable little cunt now just wait till after the election and he finds himself out of work.

Unlike Blair who moved on to new richer pickings, Gordon will brood. He will sulk, feel let down and boy will he let us know how he feels let down.

First up a new book. Lets see: Courage 2: The bastards fucking stabbed me in the back. A working title and I am sure that whatever it is called that will be the basic aim of the book.

Countless TV and media interviews where he will bleat on and on and on about the evil Tories now in power, but more importantly to him he will attempt to settle old scores.

First up whoever replaced him: How dare they! His bile will know no ends on this score and he will do his best to manage things from behind the scenes.

Should he get a slap down from the new Labour leader that will set him off even more. Gordon will be unable to conceive that his day as leader is over, that he failed and was removed. Unlike Neil Kinnock who was removed and fled to the rest home of the terminally stupid that is the EU, none of that for our Gordon.

Sure the Eu will give him some petty power but not power over the UK, over New Labour and this nation. That is Gordon's only desire. Woe betide any who dare get in his way, his sulks will know no bounds.

One day our Gordon, now a sad shambling figure avoiding my politicians of all colours, embittered to the point of lashing out at any who dare question his view, even avoided by TV hacks unless its the latest version of say Brass Eye out to take the piss at his expense; will realise that he is utterly and completely alone.

No more David Milibands to fawn over each word, no more clapping union types, no more hands to shake, no more attention from anyone.

So maybe he will go mad locking himself away in his house, naked and smeared in his own shit. Giggling insanely to an invisible cheering crowd that only he can hear. Taken away by the nice men in white suits, now smeared with Gordons shit.

Of course there is the other age old option that tyrants, despots and ego maniacs resort to when their fragile egos get shattered. Suicide. Now Gordon being Gordon will of course as he has in so many areas fuck this up.

But there is also this one: he will resort to the bottle becoming a mad drunk chosing instead the slow death that is the life of an alcholic tramp.

Let us hope that the last words he ever hears in his addled mind are those of John Hutton:

Update: Frankie Boyle on this week's Mock The Week, talking about Gordon Brown.

Because... every other time that I've seen Gordon Brown smiling it looks like he's trying to shit a sea-urchin."

.