Jade Goody jokes.

A man went to blockbuster and said can i rent out slumdog millionaire, he then went home and played it and jade goody popped up, so he took it back to blockbuster and said i asked for slumdog millionaire and the person said, sorry i thought you said some dog with no hair. 

Coincidence? http://i40.tinypic.com/2r7r8co.jpg

I always knew Jade Goody was a racist but I think becoming a skinhead was a step too far...

What is the difference between Jade Goody and a moped?
A moped can reach 30.

How do you cure cancer?
I'll let you all know in a few weeks - kinda waiting on something first.

Whats the difference between Cancer and a Goat?
Jade Goody can't milk a goat.

If you have the Jade Goody 2009 calendar, could you please check and see if it's got all the months in it? Mine only goes up to March.

Jade Goody was looking great at her wedding today
Not a hair out of place

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:
South East England, born and raised
On Reality TV, where I spent most of my days
Being racist and acting a fool
Was disgusting, destroyed all the gene pool
When a couple of cells, who were up to no good
Started making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one bit of cancer and my doctors got scared
They said, "We're putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!"

Jack Tweed to sell his story to THE SUN……
In others news
Pope is Catholic
Bears shit in the woods

Why wasn't Jade Goody cremated? Cos they couldn't find an apple big enough to fit her mouth!

You guys need to be careful. Being racist can give you cancer.

Does anyone else think "Don't Fuck with Shilpa Shetty" t-shirts would be a good business idea?

Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.

Why all the fuss about Jade Goody dying? She's 189 in dog years.

Apparently Jade Goodys kids bought her some flowers for mothers day but she died before they could give them to her, mind you, at least they won't go to waste.


What's the difference between Jade Goody and Rebecca Loos?
Rebecca Loos can wank a pig, but Jade Goody can milk a cancerous pussy.

Jade Goody's. Funeral arrangement's are being made. A lovely hearse, Then thrown into a tip in Essex.

Police have released details of why the woman who showed up at Jade Goodys bedside with a hammer wasnt charged with any offences, apparantly she also had a tape measure, saw, screwdriver and wood but she was told she was a few weeks early and released.

I'll fuckin piss myself if it happens on Mothers Day

Is sitting next to Jade Goody classed as a near death experience?

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING: Shoving a dirty wine bottle up your fanny in the Big Brother garden, may cause cancer.

Always read the small print Jade...

Had this texted to me the other day:

Felt a bit depressed this morning, what with the shit weather, the conflict in Eastern Europe, the economy in freefall and bad news filling the media, then I heard that Jade Goody had cancer and thought life is not so bad after all.

Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks.
Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour.

Another shit joke about cancer?
Oh goody

Jade Goody has been portrayed by the media as a heroine for raising awareness about cervical cancer, in spite of the fact that she forgot to have a smear test.

Last year, I forgot to turn off an unlit oven before leaving for work. The ensuing explosion killed my wife and three children.

Was I portrayed by the media as a hero for raising awareness about gas safety?

Was I fuck.

Jade Goody has said she hasn't told her kids about her illness as she doesn't want them worrying about the 'C' word.
But I'm sure with all the press coverage and kids talking at school, they already know their mum is a 'Cunt'.

It looks like karma exists; Jade Goody got cancer for making racist comments on TV.
It makes you wonder what's going to happen to us sick bastards?

Following the shocking news that Jade Goody has cancer there has been a plea for suitable donors of Bone Marrow to come forward, as this could save her life.
Alternatively, you could just donate it it to my dog- he is a bit peckish.
Please, make the right choice.

I see Boy George has been let out of prison early.
No, my mistake that's just Jade Goody.

I think its appalling that everyone's making jokes about Jade Goody having cancer.
Why can't you just be happy?

Snow white, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo are sitting in a pub with their mates.
Snow white says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the fairest in the land"
Tom thumb says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the smallest in the land"
Quasimodo says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the ugliest in the land"

Their mates tell them to prove it by going to the magic all-knowing mirror, and the three head off.

A few minutes later, the door of the pub bursts open and Snow White runs in and says "Its official...I'm the fairest in the land!"

Shortly afterwards, the door again bursts open and Tom Thumb runs in and shouts "Its official...I'm the smallest in the land!"

Five minutes later, the door gets kicked in and Quasimodo storms in and bellows "Who the fuck is Jade Goody?"


I heard that Jade Goody's ex has been sent to prison.
It's nice to know the police are cracking down on bestiality.

Apparently Jade wants to donate her organs to allow other families to have their lives changed.
They will be delivered to them in "Goody bags".

Jade Goody says she's worried she may not live to care for her sons as they grow up.
Well, some things are for the best, Jade.

NEWS FLASH
They said that people in India were burning effiggies of Jade Goody. They weren't, they were barbecuing a pig.

Jade Goody just released a statement: "We ain't fucking racist. We got a coloured telly."

Jade Goody is considering going to a German clinic to see if they can give her a better standard of life.
Well I suggest she goes to a Swiss one to give everyone else one.

Jade Goody is tipped to win her local weightwatchers slimmer of the month award in September. October. November. And, if she lasts that long, December.

What word beginning with 'C' would you most associate with Jade Goody?
Suddenly that question's become that little bit more difficult.

Poor cancer. Imagine what it must feel like to have a doctor tell you that you're stuck in Jade Goody's fanny...

Jade Goody says her cancer hell has encouraged her to visit her estranged father's grave for the first time.
With a bit of luck she'll be able to move in before Christmas.

Cancer - Helping ugly people get married since 2009

Jade Goody – A Biography (taken from the News of The World)

1. She faced court action over thousands of pounds of unpaid rent.
2. Just hours after arriving (on Big Brother), she had flashed one of her boobs and left viewers stunned with a torrent of foul language.
3. Jade was a figure of ridicule. She was branded a “pig”, two-faced and ignorant. Rival contestants labelled her “thick” and “ugly”.
4. Viewers switched on to watch tipsy Jade strip off during a drinking game to flash her “kebab”.
5. She thought East Anglia was called East Angular, and that it was somewhere near Tunisia. And she reckoned Rio de Janeiro was a person.
6. Jade kept trotting out the clangers . . . Mona Lisa was painted by “Pistachio”, Mother Teresa was from Germany, Portugal was “in Spain” and “Saddam Hussein was a boxer”.
7. Jade put it best herself when she confessed: “I may not be the sharpest tool in the sandwich box.”
8. “If I hadn’t made it on Big Brother I would probably have been living in a council flat with my mum.”
9. Lapping up the publicity, she once told a reporter she planned to dedicate a room in her house to all her front-page covers.
10. She started dating Jack Tweed. Jade had spotted him in a nightclub before, but had no idea he was six years her junior. She was smitten from the start, and the couple had sex on their first date at London’s Sanderson Hotel.
11. Their romance was to be played out in the full glare of the public when they both went into the Celebrity Big Brother house in 2007—joined by Jade’s mum Jackiey. But the programme that made Jade almost broke her this time as she became embroiled in a race row with Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. She ranted at the actress: “You’re not some princess in f*****g Neverland. I don’t give a s**t. You’re a normal housemate like everybody else. You need to come to terms with that.” She added: “Go back to the slums and find out what real life is about lady.”
12. Later Jade confessed she wanted to headbutt the Indian actress and branded her “Shilpa Poppadom”.
13. Jade’s popularity nosedived overnight and Ofcom received a staggering 45,000 complaints. Her perfume was removed from the shelves and her autobiography dropped by publishers.
14. She then contracted cancer and turned out to be a fucking saint.

FOR SALE
One blonde wig, unwanted mothers day present. £10 ono
Call Jack - 07784475777 (Essex area)

They won't be taking Jade Goody's body away for two or three days as the binmen are on strike.

In memory of Jade Goody, Pixar & Disney are collabarating to make an animated movie based on her life...."Finding Chemo"

Day 5 from the Big Brother coffin & Jade has still not moved.

See also: non-fucking-jade-goody-story-of-day.html

jade-goody-wedding-pics-leaked.html

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