Thief impaled.

The story here is that a none to bright thief tried to break into the East London Museum. As he went about his dubious deeds he set off the museum’s alarm system. 

Spooked, he had it on his toes and climbed down a tree. Alas for him the fates had another plan in store and he lost his footing, to fall rectum first onto a waiting spike.

Now I am not sure how long he sat there tears in his eyes from the pain in his ring, but a man passing by finally answered the thief’s cries and eventually the police arrived to a story that they will be amusing new recruits to the force with for many a year to come.

Well I am sure that the police don't come across failed robbers skewered up the ring piece everyday?!

It took the firemen, who arrived after police, actually bending and finally cutting the steel spike so the man could have it removed from his rectum. Needless to say he has suffered some internal damage and was - I use the word loosly here - lucky not to skewer a major blood artery and bleed out. 

He still faces charges for attempted robbery as well as the mockery of the court officials, police and jury who I am sure will be having to step outside to compose themselves and stop themselves from wetting themselves laughing.

Lets be fair its the case of a lifetime.

No matter what they decide to do with him, justice has already been more than served.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whinnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! my arse"

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