This gem from The Scotsman:
SHE was supposed to be Labour's secret weapon, but Sarah Brown ended up being so "secret" yesterday that no-one from the press was allowed to ask her any questions.
It was clear from the moment she arrived in Cardenden to campaign on behalf of the Labour Party that she was not there to speak to the ordinary members of the public. The Prime Minister's wife was instead there to be seen to speak to ordinary members of the public.
At first Labour's spin doctors tried to keep the location of the walkabout under wraps, with only the BBC and the Press Association permitted access on the grounds of ensuring maximum publicity at minimum disruption.
However, a couple of hours before the scheduled event, the party relented and The Scotsman was called and told it would be allowed to watch as Mrs Brown knocked on doors.
At first Labour's spin doctors tried to keep the location of the walkabout under wraps, with only the BBC and the Press Association permitted access on the grounds of ensuring maximum publicity at minimum disruption.
However, a couple of hours before the scheduled event, the party relented and The Scotsman was called and told it would be allowed to watch as Mrs Brown knocked on doors.
Remind you of the former USSR when they tried to copy democracy, or Zimbabwe today?
During her 30-minute walkabout, she spoke exactly nine words to the press pack that included three camera crews, seven photographers and a dozen reporters. "I'm very pleased to be supporting Lindsay Roy today," she said with a weak smile that quickly curled into a grimace.
Remember she is not a prop as the one eye'd leader made clear in his party speech.
Wearing black boots, grey skirt and matching jacket, Mrs Brown was flanked by Mr Roy, the Labour candidate, and Iain Gray, leader of the Scottish Labour Party, as she was ushered from pebble-dashed home to pebble-dashed home, almost every one bearing a Labour poster and the promise of a warm welcome. After a few minutes of brief conversation she would come back down to the gate to be greeted by the press and more questions that were ignored.
Copies of Pravda were held high in each hand, the people fresh from the tractor production factory to meet the elected officials and non prop wives.
As she marched along the pavement, two Labour supporters walked behind her holding banners for Lindsay Roy so as to maximise publicity.
HOWEVER, when television reporters tried to do pieces to camera with the Prime Minister's wife in the background, the Labour Party people tried to hustle them out the way. "Move the camera – move the camera. Get the camera off the pavement. You have to let her pass," they said.
Journalists who then found themselves walking beside Mrs Brown struggled to avoid being tripped up as party members muscled in, trying to form a protective phalanx.
HOWEVER, when television reporters tried to do pieces to camera with the Prime Minister's wife in the background, the Labour Party people tried to hustle them out the way. "Move the camera – move the camera. Get the camera off the pavement. You have to let her pass," they said.
Journalists who then found themselves walking beside Mrs Brown struggled to avoid being tripped up as party members muscled in, trying to form a protective phalanx.
One can just imagine them formed into a Roman Testudo to protect the socialist prop. The cry from cyclops Brown to the party workers "Ite Testudo..." (yes I know the Latin is wrong to pedants out there)
Then came the most extraordinary piece of control freakery of the day. "I want you guys on the green," said the man from the Labour Party. "There will be six or seven guys with guns who will keep you away from her. You may be shot and then it won't be my problem."
Or sent to Siberia....Seriously what the hell are they on? Threatening to give members of the press a Brazilian.
Each time Mrs Brown refused to answer a question, more were shouted in her direction by the media pack crowding in outside the houses she visited.
"Are you going to win?" she was asked.
The smooth, public affairs professional that she is, Mrs Brown just smiled, nervously.
"Is your husband going to be here?" was another attempt.
Again, the silent treatment and the shepherding from Labour minders from Labour door to Labour door.
"Are you going to win?" she was asked.
The smooth, public affairs professional that she is, Mrs Brown just smiled, nervously.
"Is your husband going to be here?" was another attempt.
Again, the silent treatment and the shepherding from Labour minders from Labour door to Labour door.
Party workers in each house a gun held to head of "loyal voters" to get them to agree to show party support...
As the high-profile photo-op threatened to turn into a disaster, so Downing Street tried to organise a damage limitation exercise. A spokesman for the Prime Minister insisted that Mrs Brown was not in Glenrothes as a politician – though how that squared with her appearance on behalf of the Labour Party was never properly explained.
The Nationalists were careful not to attack Mrs Brown directly, aware that the decision to bar media access had been taken by her husband, but they were delighted to see the visit backfiring.
An SNP spokesperson said: "Sarah Brown's visit is more about publicity for Labour than a better deal for the people of Glenrothes. It is the Prime Minister who should be on the doorsteps and in the shopping centres of Glenrothes to answer the question from voters over rising energy bills."
Mrs Brown has taken on an increasingly high-profile role in politics to help save her husband's career, famously introducing him at the Labour Party conference last month.
BUT it was clear from yesterday's appearance that she has yet to get used to her new role – or at least that the diktat from No 10 Downing Street was so forceful and unwavering that she had no choice but to comply with it.
But if Mrs Brown was stoic in the experience, members of the public were clearly bemused. Natasha Burns, 18, held her 18-month-old son, McKenzie, who was agog at the goings-on. She said: "He couldn't believe the commotion. She was just talking away to him and he said: 'hi' when she said: 'Goodbye'."
A few doors down, Janet Anderson, 66, said: "Tell your old man I'm asking after him." To which Mrs Brown said: "I will, he's very fond of Cardenden."
That may not be something he shares with his wife, given her first experience of by-election politics yesterday.
The Nationalists were careful not to attack Mrs Brown directly, aware that the decision to bar media access had been taken by her husband, but they were delighted to see the visit backfiring.
An SNP spokesperson said: "Sarah Brown's visit is more about publicity for Labour than a better deal for the people of Glenrothes. It is the Prime Minister who should be on the doorsteps and in the shopping centres of Glenrothes to answer the question from voters over rising energy bills."
Mrs Brown has taken on an increasingly high-profile role in politics to help save her husband's career, famously introducing him at the Labour Party conference last month.
BUT it was clear from yesterday's appearance that she has yet to get used to her new role – or at least that the diktat from No 10 Downing Street was so forceful and unwavering that she had no choice but to comply with it.
But if Mrs Brown was stoic in the experience, members of the public were clearly bemused. Natasha Burns, 18, held her 18-month-old son, McKenzie, who was agog at the goings-on. She said: "He couldn't believe the commotion. She was just talking away to him and he said: 'hi' when she said: 'Goodbye'."
A few doors down, Janet Anderson, 66, said: "Tell your old man I'm asking after him." To which Mrs Brown said: "I will, he's very fond of Cardenden."
That may not be something he shares with his wife, given her first experience of by-election politics yesterday.
Repeat after me they will win, the state is father, the state is mother. Vote Labour or else.
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