President Barrack Obama jokes

Liberals have said for the last 2 elections that a monkey could do a better job than Bush. 

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Well now they have the chance to prove it....

Obama turns up at the pearly gates and St. Peter asks him who he is and what he did.

'I'm Barrack Obama the first black president of the USA'
St. Peter:'First black president of the USA? When did this happen?'
"About twenty minutes ago'

http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2008/11/obama-to-be-tribune-of-plebs.html

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and replied, ‘That tasted like bullshit!’

The doctor replied, ‘It was, you were a quart low.'

Be honest,
How many of you out there are only watching the inauguration to see if he gets shot?

Poor George Bush - imagine how depressing it must be knowing that you fucked up so badly that people think even a nigger can do a better job than you.

Barack Obama moves into the White House today.
Surprise, surprise, another black man in government assisted housing.

Obama the first black president of the US. Lewis Hamilton the first Black Formula 1 champion. Will Smith, the world's highest paid actor. Tiger Woods, world's best golfer. Oh how times change. Its a real good time to be black. Poor old Michael Jackson must be fucking kicking himself!

Something important must be happening in the USA today.
There's wogs with suits on all over the telly.
Must be some big court case.

I am trying to watch the Inauguration - but all the channels seem to be showing the Cosby Show.
2 million niggers at Obama's innauguration.
Does no-one else think that's a lot of people we could be giving a dose of their own medicine by robbing their houses whilst they're on CNN?

People should relax about Barack Obama becoming president.Have you ever known a black man to keep a job for four years?

When Barack Obama was giving his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass.
I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone.

Is Barack Obama the first Black Man to beat a White Woman and not serve time for it?
Barack Obama won the election on a platform of "change."

I say, "what change?" because what's so new about a black guy coming in to clean up a mess a white man created?

One of the criticisms levelled at Obama in the run up to him being elected was that he is not a real American. When you look at him, you can see what they mean... after all, he's slim.

I don't know why all the americans are so excited about having a black president, Zimbabwe have had one for years and he's fucking shit.

Finally America has come to terms with its past and elected a black President. A spokesman for the new administration was quoted as saying, "He's made his owners very proud."

News from the White House..George Bush's wallet has gone missing already.

The last thing America needs is a black man in the White House begging for change.

Gordon Brown met with Barack Obama today. They agreed that if the Americans put the Queen on their stamps, we will keep their president on our jam jars.

Is it racist that I assumed the word "HIV" was missing when I saw the headline "Gordon Brown Is Positive After Private Meeting With Barack Obama"?

The US presidential race is a marathon.
Thats why a Kenyan won

News just in about Barack Obama's grandmother. It seems that she was lucky after all and had her final wish granted. That she'd rather die than see a nigger in the White House!

After winning the US Election, Barack Obama was asked "What are your plans for defence?" To which he replied "I'm gonna paint it de same colour as de house!"

Barack Obama has broken a long tradition by being the first black man to enter the White House without a mop and bucket.

Barack Obama has said he will give America change.
I can believe that, after all a Black man gave me change this morning...
From my sausage and egg McMuffin.

It has been reported this morning that the head gardener at the White House has today been sacked.
On protesting his innocence, he is reported as saying, "Honestly I did nothing wrong. All I did was to go into the Oval Office and asked if anyone had seen the spade."

I don't know what all the fuss is about Barack Obama saying in his speech, "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."

Well, I say you can put a Black man in the White house but he is still a Nigger.

In the wake of the US election, people over here are wondering if Britain is ready for a black Prime Minister.
Fuck that. Neil Kinnock proved that we're not even ready for a ginger Prime Minister.

Haven't you found it ironic that Americans have been comparing George Bush to a chimp for the past 8 years and now they are going to replace him with a monkey

Was Obama's Inauguration speech any good..?
I missed what he was saying,
I was focusing that hard on trying to see if there was a little red laser spot on his forehead..

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