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Lembit Opik - Segways.

Its not very often I say something good about politicians but I think that Lid Dem MP Lembit Opik might just be onto something here:
“I come to legalise Segways, not to praise them. The evil that machines do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their cogs, and so it could be with the self-balancing personal transporter. My goal today is to change that. I seek agreement to a pathway to determine how this creative, convenient and eco-friendly device may be formally embraced by the UK.

I declare an interest. Segway loaned and subsequently succeeded in selling me a self-balancing personal transporter. I have since got so versed in its use that I believe I am now the most well-balanced parliamentarian in the UK, albeit with the assistance of gyroscopes.”

Now if Parliamentarians and lots of other folk wish to drive around the Queens highways on a gyro driven pogo stick then they should. 

As a firm believer in Darwinism and in particular the Darwin Awards in which stupid people remove themselves from the gene pool I happen to think this is great. I have long argued that much of the health & safety is utterly pointless as one can not legislate for fuckwittery and extreme stupidity.

No lights, no indicators and no back up braking system. You can see the accidents just waiting to happen as thick folk attempt to drive them past huge lorries driven by Albanian drivers who have not slept in over 45 hours.

All I hope is that many of our MP's agree to legalise them. Ever the media whores, the MP's get themselves out to pose on them for the folk from the telly an do a mass Segway drive through London only to be culled by a very tired Albanian lorry driver.

Hell I love it. Go on encourage your MP to buy one now.


3 people have spoken:

Brian said...

Sad, the Segway is actually a pretty useful device if you happen to live in a city. Since most of us do, it's got potential.

The people who get the most out of it are those who have problems moving on their feet, for whatever reason, a cast, a limp, MS, whatever.

One study at UBC in Canada showed that the Segway really improved the quality of life of the test riders - one commenting that it was the first time anyone had ever talked to him when he was out in public, vs being in a wheel chair.

So, if you want to yell at me out of your SUV's window about what a lazy ass I am for riding a Segway instead of walking, think about my spending 1/2 cent a mile for transport vs. your 15 cents.

Also, my parking is free - I just ride into the building - and the best part - where ever I park - I plug in - and someone else pays for my ride home...

Fidothedog said...

Brian if you use a Sedway over here on the UK's overcrowded road the following is likely to happen:

1. You get killed
2. You get mugged for the machine.
3. The thought of being on one surrounded by huge lorries belching out smoke does not inspire confidence or life expectancy.

Mind you should a load of MP's be killed that would be a plus for the machines an I am sure sales will soar as a result.

Damon Lord said...

Would it be wrong to suggest Newport-West-onians have whip-round to purchase one for Paul Flynn? He likes jumping on any old bandwagon, worse than a Lib Dem when it comes to that, so jumping on a Segway shouldn't be a problem. Goldie Lookin (sic) Chain's next video should feature Flynn on a Segway going down that hill up the Gaer (can't remember the name of the road, but it'd be a laugh to watch).