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Champagne socialist Derek Simpson of Unite.

Whilst the workers struggle with ever rising bills, find yourself laid off or on short time well don't worry union boss Derek Simpson of Unite is thinking of you.

Comrades, oppressed brothers and sisters whilst you work for minimum wage Derek is hard at work swilling bottles of wine priced in the £40 range.

No cheap booze for Derek, he shows his unity with the common man by knocking back expensive plonk. Then he calls for ever higher taxes on the rich.

When after a hard days graft you get back in to a £1 microwave meal from Iceland, Derek who cares about your poverty, no seriously he really does; is hard at work eating pea and mint risotto with watercress salad, wild mushroom pappardelle with mascarpone, or baked field mushroom tart with goat’s cheese and rocket – all for £11.95.

Or maybe comrade Derek thought about the working poor whilst eating a fine fillet of Cumbrian beef with wild mushroom spring roll, ox cheek and pearl barley risotto and curly kale, and sirloin of veal with sautéed spinach and herb linguine. Yum yum.
What better to understand the rich capitalist oppressors, than by eating like a rich capitalist oppressor; its all for research comrade you see. Derek would no doubt rather have a traditional fish an chip meal.

Whilst you lay awake wondering if you can afford to pay all the bills this month, comrade Derek is also worrying about you whilst staying in a £400-a-night suite at the Waldorf Hilton in London; but worry not comrades its all important union business and that's why he needs a really posh hotel to sleep in.

When you see the red letters from the loan company drop through the letter box, just a few weeks after being laid off well spare a thought for comrade Derek. He has it tough as he stays in the Atlantic Tower, where rooms cost up to £220 a night.

Remember keep Derek in plush hotels and fine wine and food comrades, as he is on your side. Oh and keep the direct debit to Unite going, Derek needs your money more than you do.


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