Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy, the Vogon style poet.

Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy tackles a host of contemporary themes from global warming to the war in Afghanistan and MPs expenses in an ode to the festive season.

Her interpretation of the traditional 12 Days of Christmas song begins with a homesick soldier receiving a card from his true love and ends by asking if politicians will 'twiddle their thumbs' at the Copenhagen climate change summit.

And we all thought that Vogon poetry was just something from the imagination of the late Douglas Adams....
She may be reciting her version of the Vogon classic 'Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning.'
Hopefully her major intestine will leap up and strangle her brain before the listeners chew their arms off.

.