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Sir Christopher Kelly's report into MP expenses.

A quick message to the 646 MP's in the midden often called the House of Commons:

Dear scum,

Sorry that should be Rt Hon. scum. The recommendations put forward by Sir Christopher Kelly are a damn sight better than I would have given you.

Had I had my way the following would have happened:

No more free holidays other than the rest of us get, no more perks, no more pissing off to tropical holiday resorts in order to tackle some problem or other. Oh no you can fucking tele-conference, if private companies can do that then so can you. So no more crawling off after a night of taxpayer funded drinks to grab dusky young maidens or dusky young rent boys for the Lib Dem MP's out there.

In fact no fucking allowances what so fucking ever, as each an every one of you fucks are paid £64,000 a fucking year. I know company directors who clear less than that, oh and no more claiming back all the utility bills either. We can't neither should you lot.

Hell I would have got the members of the plod and the Serious Fraud Office to take a damn good look at all your expenses and would have done my level best to use proceeds of crime legislation against you all to claw back your proceeds of crime.

Then there would be a review of the amount of work and actual value for money delivered by MP's, something from my own experience I can describe in the glowing term of "piss poor". A stock letter passed about from one MP and then forwarded to another is hardly an adequate response. No more not replying to e-mails either, yes you have to reply to a written letter but even then deliver a half baked service at best.

So you could all be sure that it would be pay cuts all round, oh how lucky you are to be in an old boy network that gives you all jolly good pay rise each year.

In fact had I my way I would have turfed each an every sitting MP out of The House of Commons, as a disgrace to their high office. Half of you would be doing some serious fucking time in a maximum security prison whilst playing the game of not bending down for the soap in the shower block.

The other half would have their heads mounted on traitors gate.

3 people have spoken:

Brew Wales said...

MPs do a difficult job, as parliament was prorogued last week they only have to work 3 days this week. I'm sure our trusted representatives are not taking advantage of their extended weekend and are all hard at work in their constituencies.

Fidothedog said...

Indeed, let them claim the rope we use to hang them on expenses.

John said...

We have got to stop this habit of voting Labour, Tory and Lib-dem. Hasn't the time come for all the smaller parties who work on the basis of policies to join together in a single message: Tory, Labour and Lib Dem, I will not vote for them again!