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Francesca Anobile jokes from Sickipedia

First up the tragic news report...

Now the jokes.

A little girl from Sheffield goes into a shop and asks to borrow a sledge.
The shop owner says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Francesca Anobile had 15 GCSEs graded A or A*.
Physics must not have been one of them.

Statistically, 99.9% of Sickipedia users don't give a fuck what Francesca Anobile's family think.

A 6 year old died by falling through some ice at the same time. He wasn't being a retard, hurtling down a hill on a car roof towards a barb wire fence. You are just using the grief of your situation to get attention. Stop being a load of headline-grabbing self-righteous pricks!

Yours sincerely,
Jade Goody

I'm in the doghouse again! I got the wife a lovely bunch of flowers for Valentine's Day, but didn't notice the tag was still attached. It read:
"God bless you, Francesca. We love you and will always remember you."

What's the difference between Francesca Anobile and the economy?
The economy's still going downhill rapidly.

Controversial Joke = Francesca Anobile ÷ Fence

I think, to show people we are not the sick perv's they think we are, we should all attend the funeral..
If nothing else we're guaranteed that shoolkids will be there.

It's Francesca Anobile's friend here again.
I just think it's sick all the jokes being made about my friend: have you not thought of her parents and how they're feeling?
How would you like to drive your car around in this weather without a roof?

Francesca, sweetie, just because your surname rhymes with 'snowmobile' it doesn't mean you are one.
Now James Blunt, on the other hand...

Is it just me who's thinking there must be some way we can blame Francesca Anobile's death on Blacks?
Doesn't seem to be any way....wait, got it!
Cool Runnings

Violets are blue
Roses are red
Please take care
When you're out on your sled

I'm not going to send any flowers to Francesca Anobile's funeral. I'll send a padded suit and crash helmet.
It's what she'd have wanted.

Francesca Anobile died in a sledging accident after slamming into a barbed wire fence. An eyewitness said "I started fighting to get my phone out of my pocket - it was obvious what was going to happen."
While I commend his efforts, it's a shame he wasn't able to get any of it on video.

There once was a site called Sickipedia,
That got into trouble with the media,
'Cos one fucking day,
A girl on a sleigh,
Hit barb wire and became much 'bleedier'.

Bad times: Some cunt has smashed my fence up.
Good times: I found an abandoned sledge in my garden.

Reports say that Francesca Anobile, the girl who died when her makeshift sledge ploughed into a barbed wire fence in South Yorkshire, was extremely intelligent and was planning on going to Oxford or Cambridge.
Intelligent... erm, big fucking hill with a barbed wire fence at the bottom... Timmeh!

Channel 4 are making a documentary about the sledging accident that killed Francesca Anobile.
It will be shown in two parts.

Some fucker nicked my car roof the other night. Hope they rot in hell!

I would love to see the footage of Francesca Anobile's race on a sledge down that hill. The race was against four of her friends and, by all accounts, it was gripping stuff to watch.
Apparently it went right down to the wire.

What's silver and can be eaten at 56mph?
Sheffield's finest barbed wire.

Statistically, you're 80% more likely to survive sledging into a barb wire fence if you don't have ginger hair...

I wonder if they will play that song 'Through the Wire' by Kanye West at Francesca Anobile's funeral. Maybe covered by Sister Sledge.

Fantastic, there's a film on TV tonight to commemorate the life of Francesca Anobile.
ITV, 10.30pm, Bird on a Wire.

I found this on The Times website
"The girls were going so fast as they came down the hill. They were screaming, they couldn’t get off . . ."
I found it slightly ironic, because I managed pretty easily

Statistically... 4 out of 5 Sheffield girls enjoy sledding.

What's green and has 18 holes?
Francesca Anobile's corpse

2012 Olympic fever has taken hold of Britain.
Only last week a young girl from South Yorkshire entered the fencing.

Is it only me that thinks this website is getting more hits since the star exposed the site as disgusting?

How many thick Ginger kids does it take to paint a fence?
Depends how steep the slope is

Ever since Francesca Anobile died, I haven't been able to sleep.
Counting sheep is a bastard now; all I can see is Francesca zooming into the fence.

Apparently recent cuts in defence mean there will be less females able to join the regiments based in yorkshire.

This is to the friend of Francesca Anobile, I thought it was very brave of you speaking up against people and was wondering if you would like to go sledging?

When a young person dies it is always tragic to realise the things they will not experience as an adult, like the wonders of sex. Fortunately for Francesca Anobile, she knew what it was like, whilst hurling towards a barbed wire fence at 50mph on a Landrover bonnet, to be well and truly fucked.

All these Francesca Anobile jokes are starting to get old.
Unlike her.

Apparently, BT has signed a deal with Francesca Anobile's family to use her image to advertise it's wireless services

The Greek Prison Service has announced that two prisoners made a daring escape from an Athens jail via helicopter.
Now THAT'S how you get over a barbed wire fence!

What have Ken, Francesca Anobile and an Australian got in common?
They all been fucked by a barbie.

Looking down at the jokes about her on this site from above,
Francesca Anobile must be in pieces.

The family of Francesca Anobile said that she had 'A bright future ahead of her'
A bright future? I'm pretty sure it was a fence.

After the tragic sledging accident that led to the death of Francesca Anobile, the Ambulance crew were upset that they could not save her.
A spokesman said "By the time they got there, she had already slipped away".

Ya gotta STOP posting the Francesca Anobile jokes.....
They're sleighing me.

City Council's across the U.K. have discovered an effective new method to help with the immigration problem. They are putting up barb-wire fencing all over town and passing out free sleds to all the black and paki kids.

I've seen several duplicate jokes about Francesca Anobile recently.
Some people have no fucking respect.

If only Francesca Anobile had thought more along the lines of a British bank.......
She would have realised that a 'bail out' can prevent a crash. Stupid bitch.

Typical British not to look after your kids. And what happens? They die in horrible sledge accidents.
Something like that would never happen in Austria.

Video camera ... £90
Train ticket to Sheffield ... £45
Capturing a ginger going straight through a barbed wire fence... Fucking priceless.

What was the last thing to go through Francesca Anobiles mind?
Barbed wire.

Roses are red,
Some people are dense,
Some won't see Valentines day,
Because they're stuck in a fence.

Due to the continuation of bad weather Mr and Mrs Anobile have decided to fit Francesca's coffin with skis so she can have one last go at doing it properly.

I'm unsure whether to be disgusted at these Francesca Anobile jokes or not.
One could say I'm not sure of which side of the fence I stand...

The Head of South Yorkshire Police issued a statement following Francesca Anobile's death, stating that this sort of incident highlights just how dangerous snow can be.
Is it just me that thinks that snow is getting a bit of a raw deal here? People like snow- it is white, soft, fluffy and harmless.
It's colliding at high speed with a double row of steel mesh fencing covered with barred wire that people should be warned about.

2 people have spoken:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm Francesca Anobile, Welcome to Jackass.

Fidothedog said...