Life in Soviet Britain.

New ministry of paperclips and bean counters.
Anyone departing the UK by land, sea or air will have their trip recorded and stored on a database for a decade.
Passengers leaving every international sea port, station or airport will have to supply detailed personal information as well as their travel plans. So-called "booze crusiers" who cross the Channel for a couple of hours to stock up on wine, beer and cigarettes will be subject to the rules.

Spunking money up the wall on spin.

Last year, the cost of the Central Office of Information rose by 16 per cent as the Government launched 229 different advertising campaigns.
The figures have been uncovered by the Conservatives who last night accused the Government of having an "addiction to spin".
Ministers claim the money is spent on information campaigns for taxpayers although they have faced allegations that it is little more than propaganda for Labour policies.
Information placed in the House of Commons library reveals that a Department of Transport advertising campaign costing £15.34 million was the most expensive.
Other expensive campaigns included army recruitment adverts costing £13.7 million and an anti-smoking campaign costing £11.7 million. Almost £1.5 million was spent on a "slips, trips and falls" campaign to avoid accidents.
In total, the budget for the Central Office of Information increased to £391 million - an increase of £54 million in a single year. The increase has come despite Gordon Brown pledging an end of spin after becoming Prime Minister in July 2007.

Preacher of hate into porn, booze an dope.

The British live 'like animals in a jungle' with their alcohol, gambling, prostitution and pornography.

That is the stated view of Anjem Choudary, the preacher of hate who this week insulted the families of dead soldiers and branded their marching comrades as cowards.

The extremist wants Britain to be brought under Sharia law, with women forced to wear burkas and put to death for adultery.

Yet before he grew his beard and turned to fundamentalism, Choudary, 41, was very much the life and soul of the party at Southampton University.

Gordon Brown hates horses, his recession causes owners to put horses down.

Cash-strapped horse owners unable to care for them during the economic downturn are being told to have the animals put down. 

A leading animal charity has seen a five-fold increase in the number contacting them for help and have advised most that the best possible option is to for the horses to be destroyed.

The animals are the latest victims of the credit crunch, as many made redundant from lucrative jobs can no longer lavish money on expensive hobbies, with keeping a horse costing more than £5,000 a year.

£7000 investigation to why someone went for a cuppa!...Got to love council waste. No doubt they will hold an investigation into the investigation.

When councillor Sean Holden popped out of a planning meeting for a cup of tea, he probably didn't expect that anyone would even notice.

Mr Holden was absent for just 25 seconds.

But his actions set off a row with officials and culminated in an eight-month investigation costing £7,371.

Today, after being cleared of misconduct by an independent panel, he insisted the situation was 'ridiculous'.

'It was such a petty thing to cost so much,' he said.

'It was just a cup of tea. I hadn't had a drink for an hour, so I was thirsty. I must have been gone for 25 seconds, certainly no more than that.'

Tunbridge Wells Borough Council started the inquiry last June after Mr Holden, a Tory representing Benenden and Cranbrook ward, 'popped out' to a drinks machine during the discussion of a planning application.

He was followed out of the chamber by a monitoring officer and told to return immediately.

Wankers, utter petty minded cash wasting fuckers.

.