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Who do you think you are kidding Mr Brown...

New Labour Dad's Army...A new generation of Dad's Army-style volunteers is being trained to protect Britain from the threat of terrorism.

And just like the original wartime Home Guard recruits will come from all walks of life.

Some 60,000 civilians are being taught how to deal with terror strikes as part of what has been dubbed Gord's Army - after the scheme was unveiled yesterday by Gordon Brown.

The volunteers include shopkeepers, hotel workers, security guards and football stewards. But unlike the bumbling characters led by Captain Mainwaring in the hit TV comedy, their role will be deadly serious. Around half have already been shown how to react to bombings and other atrocities.

They will also be drilled on evacuation techniques and emergency treatment for blast survivors..

**And this will cost how much exactly, sure the volunteers will not be paid but come on they need training and so that will be costing the taxpayers money?

So lets see we have an army, sure most of them are abroad fighting in wars started by New Labour, the War on Terror and engaged on peace missions. 

A police force tied up with paperwork thanks to New Labour over regulation.

Plus the useless waste of money dogshit inspectors/PCSO's (Police Community Support Officers), but Gordon feels that a home guard is needed.

Here is an idea Gordon tell us all openly that we face attack, and mention that it is most likely to be home grown radical moslems those engaged in "Anti Islamic Activity" as terrorism is now known.

Come on be serious Gordo, a Mumbai style attack on the UK is hardly going to be stopped by some latter day Capt. George Mainwaring's with clipboards.

To paraphrase one of the catchphrases on the classic show Dad's Army: "I think you're entering the realms of fantasy here, Gordon?"...

You just know its going to be a disaster as its got the cash fiddling fingerprints of Home (economics) Sec. Jacqui Smith and also the snot covered dabs of one PM James Gordon Brown!


6 people have spoken:

Old Bag said...

you really could'nt make this shit up could you?..terrorist probley have all kinds of fucking weapons and biological shit to use aganist us, and who is protecting us? a bunch of plastic coppers and an a few shopkeepers!..what are they gonna do?..chuck a few mars' bars at the terrorists?!..nice to know that brown has'nt been informed that we aint battling the krauts anymore..still away with the fairies is he?..cunt.

Anonymous said...

Cyclops has finally lost it. He's hitler in the bunker, moving his imaginary armies around on a map, waiting for that final counterattack that would stop the Russians from taking Berlin. A Count von Staffenbourg is needed here.

subrosa said...

This is serious stuff really because, if we accept it without comment or protest, we're allowing them carte blanche to extend it much further.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

"Some 60,000 civilians are being taught how to deal with terror strikes"

60,000 Civic Enforcement Officers with their 40,000 tasers more like. Target, you and me, terrorists, all of us.

Dymphna said...

I wrote about this almost exactly a year ago, when the first rumblings were starting:

The British Dads Are Coming!

The thing I don't understand about it is how they'll prevent the real terrorists -- those "nice young men" like the ones who planned 7/7 -- from joining up. Have they any way of filtering those murderers out of the "army"? It would be the perfect taqiyya hiding place.

We could change the lyrics some:

Who do you think you’re kidding, Mr Terrorist,
If you think we’re on the run?
We are the boys who will stop your little game,
We are the boys who will make you think again.

‘Cos who do you think you’re kidding Mr Terrorist,
If you think old England’s done?
Gordon Brown goes off to town
On the 8:21,
But he comes home in pieces--
Cos you had to have a bit o'fun.

But watch out Mr Terrorist,
You’ve met your match in us,
If you think you’ll push on us.
Since you’ve already blown the bus...

...What now Mr. Terrorist, what's your plan,
You kill your own kids, and your gran.
Better stop before you make us mad
Or you'll find you're facing some pissed-off lad.
And that will be the end of you, Ahmed...

Yes, it's awful doggerel, but not as bad as this cockamamie plan of Brown's. I didn't think they got any worse until Obama came along.

Fidothedog said...

Nice poem an quite apt considering.