The National Debt Clock.

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I have decided to jump on the state funding bandwagon.

Following Old Holborn's lead in becoming a Lesbian Transgendered One Legged Black Muslim in order to maximise her Yuman Rites, and penguin who has decided to become a "Dirty Thieving Pikey."

I figured that all this taxpayer cash should not go to them, why should I miss out? So I have decided to become a Roma from the slums of East European former communist shithole.

Its going to be brilliant, will never have to work again. No waiting for me at the doctors, its leap to the head of the queue, plus I will play it dumb an get all the state non-jobs to fill in the forms for me.

Sit my arse down in town, a flute or tamborine in hand doing the same cunting four notes over and over again begging for change. No hassle off the DSS for me making a few extra pound, no being moved on by the council wardens, after all its me yuman rights.

All I need is some mange infected, flea ridden dog on a bit of string for the extra sympathy and change from old ladies.

Loads of help from the state, shall be given a cool place to live and more money.

Of course that won't stop me thieving anything that is not nailed down, don't you dare complain either as that gives me the chance to complain about my culture being oppressed.

Plus will save a fortune on soap, flannels, toothpaste and such like as will never have to use them again.

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