Gordon "Cyclops" Brown could soon be coming to a sofa near you to discuss election issues and bore you to death with endless tractorstats over a cup of tea*, Downing Street has revealed.
The Prime Mentalist will be meeting with voters in their own homes to pretend listen to their concerns and issue lots of spin and hype in the media ahead of the election.
The intimate 'sofa sessions' are thought to be aimed at making the Prime Minister seem more like a human being. No chance of that happening, odds on the cunt will beat up some OAP for daring to question his views.
Gordon "Cyclops" Brown will target the homes of people identified as pillars of their communities and local 'opinion formers', who just happen to vote Labour so as not to give him a hard time and are so less likely to be beaten up.
It is then hoped his message will 'filter out' to the constituency through them.
*Tea will be claimed back by Gordon on expenses.