Bloody insulting, condescending and demeaning: Jacqui Smith B&Q tokens.

Just when you think that the worthless shower of shit that make up what is laughingly called "government" here in the UK can not get any worse, they do just that.

Jacqui Smith's secret weapon in the war on burglary was unveiled yesterday. It is a discount voucher for B&Q.

From today, householders are invited to call a government hotline offering a coupon giving up to 15 per cent off the DIY chain's security products.

They will also be sent a pack containing top tips on how to keep out burglars, such as remembering to close doors and windows and leave on a light if going out for the evening.

The Home Secretary hopes that fitting cut-price window locks will also help to keep burglars at bay.

Families who have already been burgled - as well as their neighbours - will be given a second, separate Community Support Fund discount card by the police, offering 10 per cent off items sold by Focus DIY.

Well gee, thanks Jackboot. Seriously you can't catch the criminals thanks to tying down police officers in paperwork, when you do they are let off with a slap across the wrist. Even if they do go to jail they get automatic early release and are back on the streets in no time.

I could go on about low moral in the police force, the piss poor pay deal and wasting God knows how much on the glorified dog shit inspectors sorry PCSO's (Police Community Support Officers) a band of paperclip wielding jobsworths.

But no, lets get back to this latest jape, I am sure that those who have had their homes looted, their goods hawked to fund some scumbags drug habit will be oh so fucking impressed with getting a discount voucher from fucking B&Q.

And in a further move, 45,000 'vulnerable' individuals in 90 burglary hotspots will benefit from a £6million Safer Homes fund to pay for local ' handypeople' to fit window locks and other security devices.

Opposition MPs warned the Home Secretary against using 'gimmicks' as a substitute for putting extra police on the streets to tackle the increased threat of burglary. Home Office officials say there is a risk of a sharp rise in housebreaking as recession bites.

Really you fucking think so, no shit Sherlock.

But Miss Smith said that offering money off products such as window locks was a sensible way of preventing a burglary crime wave.

She said: 'I want us all to work together to stop those criminals who may think they can take advantage in tough times.'

Tell you what Jacqui why not just allow victims of crime to claim back their goods. Maybe on a John Lewis list like that used by MP's, or does that just apply to the MP's? No chance for us to grab a free toothbrush holder or stick some grumble flicks down on the form?

Nope despite paying for your second homes, furnishings, even down to the sodding welcome mat all we get is a discount voucher. 

Euan Sutherland, of B&Q, said: 'Everyone should feel safe in their own home.

'This is not about scaremongering, it is about taking sensible precautions. And it needn't be expensive - we have bolts, padlocks and timer switches from as little as £2.'

Well B&Q can go fuck themselves as well. All this is is a fucking loss leader, get the bastards in through the door and fleece them blind replacing all their stolen goods. I am sure the last they need is some smirking cunt in a B&Q uniform bleating on after they have been robbed about how their products could keep them safe & sound!

The vouchers, funded by B&Q itself, initially offer discounts of 10 per cent, rising to 15 per cent if more than £50 is spent.

Be still my beating heart at the generosity of that.

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: 'What Britain needs is not political gimmicks from this government but less bureaucracy in our police stations so that we can get more police on our streets.'

The latest Home Office crime statistics gave the first warning signs of a so-called 'credit crunch crimewave' taking hold, with one family every two minutes suffering the misery of a burglary.

The number of domestic break-ins rose by 4 per cent to 69,000 between July and September last year as the country slipped into recession.

Get this bit for patronising bullshit from Jackboot.

At the time, Miss Smith admitted that the increase in break-ins was 'worrying'.

Yes, worrying might be a word. Piss-poor might be a better description, 12 failed years of socialist experimental policies. A total muther-fucking waste of billions and not enough on extra jail spaces for feral scrotum's.

She said the Home Office was bringing together vulnerable groups, the police and even DIY stores for a summit to try to work out ways of making life hard for burglars.

Jail perhaps? This bloody woman has nothing new to add and so should keep her slack kebab eating jaw closed. Maybe if she put her husbands cock in it a tad more often it might save the tax payer a few quid in expenses claims on porn films.

Fuck it, going to lay into that other New Labour champagne swilling uber-cunt; one Jack Straw. I ripped into the fucker here and as yet the slippery Bob Mugabe hand shaker has not replied to any of the comments on his "blog"

Tackle crime bollocks, these fuckers could not organise a brewery piss up.

As for Jack Straw, a fucking straw man who lacks the dangly bits or spine needed to hold a debate and fight his corner on his own fucking blog, the cunt.

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