(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'C*****mas'.
(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.
(3) You allow your children to read uncensored versions of Winnie the Pooh.
(4) You aren't prepared to cast the first stone at a rape victim.
(5) You believe that the earth is round.
(6) You think there's something weird about a 53 year old man marrying a six year old girl.
(7) You think that repeatedly banging your head on the floor five times a day might be a symptom if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
(8) You object to being a third class citizen in your own country.
(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity and enrichment when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.
(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a raging mob of savages.
(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.
(12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'.
(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated.
(14) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins.
(15) You aren't erotically attracted to toddlers.
(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.
(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents.
(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican drink.
(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.
(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.
(21) You claim to understand the meaning of "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic.
(22) You don't get sexually aroused by kissing meteorites.
(23) You have reservations about 'faith schools' where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense.
(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime.
(25) You don't believe that God is a brothel-keeper.
**Update:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection toEVALUATING YOUR SCORE
beer.
2. You own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your arse with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
"unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, " I love what you've done with your
cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat
How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?
On a scale of 0 to 25...
0 you are a Dhimmi and will be nominated for the Neville Chamberlain/Jens Byskov dhimmi award/Peace Prize.
1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir.
6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe.
11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal.
16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah.
21 to 25 you are a Zionist Crusader offspring of pigs and monkeys.
Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5.
Fatwas will be posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin and polonium.
.
1 people have spoken:
And of course theres always the;
You May be a Muslim If:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to
beer.
2. You own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your arse with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
"unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, " I love what you've done with your
cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat
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