Former champagne socialist Helen Clark on trial for D&D.

Now they say its cruel to hit someone when they are down, but fuck that shit. Hell its fun. 

First up the rather amusing story of one of the great and the good falling down on their arse.

A former Labour MP accused of being drunk and disorderly in a hotel told police they were 'pigs' when she was arrested, a court heard today.

Helen Clark, 54, denies using threatening words and behaviour and being drunk and disorderly in the Great Northern Hotel, in the Cambridgeshire town of Peterborough, last June.

The town's magistrate's court was told she was unhappy after being arrested in September.

Police said the Ms Clark, who served as Peterborough's MP from 1997 until 2005, told them: 'I'm not going anywhere. I am staying right here.'

Then she allegedly said to officers: 'I remember in the Seventies when police were referred to as pigs. That's what you all are, pigs.

'Look everyone, I'm being arrested by pigs.'

Prosecutor Caroline Allison told the court that Clark had committed the offences after drinking wine in the Old Soaks bar at the Great Northern Hotel during the afternoon of Sunday, June 15 2008.

Bar staff had noted that her speech was slurred and had refused to serve her any more alcohol.

Miss Allison said Clark had responded with abuse.

Now I posted a little bit and was amused that this drunken former MP bleated to Youtube and they removed the clip.

She stated as I covered here that she would be seeking legal advice. She said: "I will be contacting my lawyers. 

Then it went quiet for a while and I covered the announncment of the trial here.

But worry not the clip of her firing off some fine Anglo Saxon swear words can be seen here.

Its so nice to see that when the youth get all the blame for being feral that a former Labour MP can also show them how abuse is supposed to be done.

The old phrase "Tired and emotional" from Private Eye leaps to mind...

**Update from They work for you

...elderly people had to forgo a pleasurable evening bingo session at the local community centre because they would have had to cross a school playing field packed with intimidatory youths smoking, drinking and smashing bottles on the ground. Okay, such things do not make front-page national news in our favourite tabloids or broadsheets, but they have front-page importance for many whom we have the honour to represent. Our collective failure to deal with such issues breeds a lack of confidence in politicians and political systems.

Really, curse those feral chavs. Its not like a now former Labour MP would ever engage in anti-social an it is nice to see that the legal system is taking a stand on this. After all as Helen said "Our collective failure to deal with such issues breeds a lack of confidence in politicians and political systems."

Could not have put it better myself.

Helen Clark gets off with a slap across the wrist...

A former Labour MP has been given a conditional discharge after being found guilty of using threatening words and behaviour to hotel bar staff.

Helen Clark, who represented Peterborough between 1997 and 2005, was convicted after a two-day trial at Peterborough Magistrates' Court.

Clark, who had denied any offence, was found not guilty of being drunk and disorderly.

Prosecutors alleged that Clark, a 54-year-old former English teacher, lost her temper after bar staff refused to serve her more alcohol in the Great Northern Hotel in Peterborough, Cambridgeshire, during the afternoon of Sunday June 15, 2008.

The court heard that Clark, her husband Alan and a friend had been drinking from around midday to around 5pm while discussing politics.

Clark told the court that she had downed "in the order of" a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. But she denied being drunk and denied calling a barmaid "Portuguese b*tch".

Part of the episode was filmed on a barmaid's mobile phone - and footage was shown in court. In the film, Clark was seen holding her head in her hands and screaming and shouting. The court was told the mobile phone footage later appeared on the internet site YouTube.

District Judge Nicholas Leigh-Smith said prosecutors had not proved Clark was drunk and disorderly but had proved she was guilty of using threatening words and behaviour.
Judge Leigh-Smith said Clark had had a "preoccupation with self and self-image".

He added: "I am satisfied the behaviour on the whole was threatening and abusive. It was certainly disorderly. Mrs Clark was clearly out of control."

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