"Stock prices have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."

So said Mr Fisher just before the 1929 crash.

I did maths for a year at university. I don't think I was very good at it. And some people would say it shows.
Gordon Brown PM.
April 2007. -

Oh yes, remember our gold sold off on the cheap....

Tonight(29/08/2008) the Pound is tumbling as Asian markets open tonight. The pound is now at the weakest it has ever been against the Euro, tumbling against the Swiss Franc as well.

From the Scotsman

...In an interview with the Reuters news agency, Blanchflower said: "To sit and worry about inflation expectations and what is going to happen to those, rather than worry about the fact that the economy is going to go into a recession seems to be misguided."

He added: "The way to get out of it is to act. Sitting by doing nothing is not going to get us out of this, and hoping that a knight in shining armour will come and lift us out of this is optimistic in the extreme."

Blanchflower warned that two million people could be unemployed by the end of the year, an increase of more than 300,000 on the current 1.67 million figure....

Some more on how shit James Gordon Brown is...**Expect some urgent dithering from Brown & co.
Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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Hat tip to Cartoonazi
Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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Thanks to Cranmer for this.

It appears that taxpayers here in the UK are contributing to the propagation of a ‘moderate’ Islamic theology in the name of ‘fighting Muslim extremism’.

In short the people of this nation are paying Jizya.

Jizya is the tax under Islamic law which non-Muslims have to pay in order to live their lives with a degree of autonomy and to practise their faith free from aggression.

Birmingham City Council spent £525,000 in the last financial year under the Government’s secrecy-shrouded Preventing Violent Extremism Pathfinder Fund (PVE). And now they are throwing another £2.4 million at the project, to be spread over the next three years.

While councils across the country have received PVE cash to help communities tackle extremism, there are concerns over how some local authorities are using the money. Birmingham City Council used the £525,000 to fund projects at 10 mosques in the city. Dr Mashuq Ally, the council’s ‘Head of Equality and Diversity’ (who asked taxpayers if they wanted to fund such Marxist pursuits?) said the projects ‘focused on young people, religious institutions, and women and media’. Among them was a scheme to teach imams English. Another was aimed at developing management structures in the mosques.

Surely these ‘management structures’ ought simply be educated to employ English-speaking imams in the first place. Why should the taxpayer subsidise importing Pakistani imams into UK mosques? It is not their lack of English that offends, but the particular brand of Islam that they preach. At least if they cannot speak English, the propagation of their message of hate is somewhat hindered.

Another programme involved the council funding Criminal Records Bureau checks on all teachers and staff working at the Islamic schools attached to the mosques. But since other schools are obliged to find this money themselves, this amounts to a taxpayer subsidy on unregulated madrassas. The people of Birmingham are unwittingly helping to educate the next generation of Muslims through faith schools which are not subject to Ofsted - the state’s inspection regime.

Sure there are some moslems object to PVE because they think the programme stigmatises them, but there are a lot more kufur non moslems who object when seeing their community centres close due to lack of funds.

Get this double speak:

We asked the Government’s Communities and Local Government department what, if any, checks are being done to ensure local authorities are allocating funding effectively to counter extremism.

A spokeswoman said: "This funding is not being ring-fenced in this financial year, but is currently being paid through the Area Based Grant. This gives local authorities flexibility about how they used their resources.

"The Communities Secretary will be reviewing these arrangements at the end of the financial year 2008/09 and will consider at that point whether there are exceptional circumstances which would merit ring-fencing."

They answer the question without answering the question.

Hat tip to Cranmer.

Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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And here she is singing the swan song of New Labour, as badger haired chancellor says "the economy is fucked"...

Britain is facing "arguably the worst" economic downturn in 60 years which will be "more profound and long-lasting" than people had expected, Alistair Darling, the chancellor, tells the Guardian today.

In the government's gravest assessment of the economy, which follows a warning from a Bank of England policymaker that 2 million people could be out of work by Christmas...

But here is the best bit...

"We've got to rediscover that zeal which won three elections, and that is a huge problem for us at the moment. People are pissed off with us.

Oh yes and it is all the fault of Mr Brown and before him Mr Blair.
Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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Well where to start on this one. The head of the met a New Labour apparatnik who played(excuse the pun) being pc and right on to the hilt, chose a moslem as his 2nd in command.

It was felt that such an appointment would be good to show moslems that they to could become leaders in the community, instead of blowing themselves up on tube trains and London buses.

Now I have to chuckle that his appointment is now rattling the cage and playing the whitey oppression card.

I happen to like Mr Ghaffur's argument that he is being picked on "cos he is black" - to use the Ali G phrase - as he has landed the 2nd most powerful police role in the nations largest police force, this being despite all the other officers being members of the local branch of the KKK.

Despite this and his claims of constant oppression he was appointed to that role, paid the nice sum of £100,000 per year, oh also the racist fascists also awarded him a CBE - not through any merit but because they hated him and his religion just to clarify that point.

He is also in line for a retirement pot of a cool half a million, paid for by said fascists.

Well all I can add is if that is discrimination on the grounds of race/religion then I would also like to be discriminated against by a racist organisation, after obtaining the 2nd highest post in said fascist organisation.

Hat tip to Paradise Lost for this one.
Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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If all our economic woes are made in America as Gordon claims, why is that their economy is showing healthy growth (despite high oil prices) and the U.K. economy is flat-lining?

Could it have something to do with George Bush's timely $150 billion bi-partisan growth stimulus package in February? Both the Democrats and Republicans are running on tax cutting platforms. We have bi-partisan tax and spend sloth policies.

Whilst our companies outsource work abroad - adding to unemployment - due to high costs here in the UK, or flee these shores altogether other more dynamic nations who have leaders capable of adjusting their views are cutting taxes to encourage growth.

Maybe Gordon could explain the 3.3% growth in the US whilst ours is at 0%, on the other hand he could just blame the US, the Tories, aliens or maybe put the blame on pixies and other forms of malevolent elfin folk....

Tacitus could have written this phrase about him: “Consensu omnium, capax imperii nisi imperasset”

Gordon Brown a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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Senator McCain has selected Sarah Palin to be his vice presidential candidate.

Lets hope that America has the free market Republicans in the White House rather than the communisttax and spend policies of Barrack & co.

Americans should talk a look at the UK, with rising prices, stagnant economy, huge bloated government, sleaze, corruption, rising unemployment, falling house prices and run by an unelected, unanswerable group of socialists led by a dour old school socialist.

If they vote Barrack then after a few years the US will be in as big a fiscal mess as the UK.

Barrack the man of soundbites, the man of smiles, a US version of Tony Blair was tried to be all things to all people and failed them all.**She is on the BBC (a station I normally try to avoid) now and talking about reducing taxes, would that our politicians could do that.

Gordon Brown PM, a man who makes me so angry I could punch his lights out

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I covered this the latest piss poor plan from dire Home Sec. and kebab muncher Jacqui Smith here

Today in the Daily Mail, Littlejohn covers the subject:

George Orwell's 1984 was supposed to be a warning about the dangers of totalitarianism, not a blueprint for government.

No one seems to have told New Labour. Barely a day goes by without another assault on our civil liberties, another extension of state snooping, another exciting ruse for meting out punishment for the most trivial offence.

This week’s outrage is the news that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith is creating a whole new vigilante class of quasi-policemen, drawn from the ranks of Town Hall jobsworths, security guards and car park attendants.

They’ll be allowed to wear uniforms, patrol the streets with dogs, confiscate property and hand out fixed-penalty notices for everything from littering to under-age drinking.

It’s emerged that there are 1,400 of these Accredited Persons out there already, and their numbers will soon swell into the thousands.

They have the power to stop cars, take photos of people, demand names and addresses and issue fines.

For now, they wear badges sewn onto their tunics by their employers...

Just think of the sort of semi-literate, untrained, mindless drones who believe that rules are rules and to be obayed at all costs who will be filling the ranks of these "new police"

Littlejohn makes the point that this was exactly what the PCSO's were supposed to be doing...

Hang on, wasn’t that what David Blunkett’s Plastic Plods were supposed to do? So what’s the difference between a Police Community Support Officer and an Accredited Person? Very little, except Accredited Persons don’t have the power to detain suspects.

The ranks of PCSOs are comprised of people who are too stupid to pass the entrance exam for the real police. You won’t even have to be that bright to become an Accredited Person.

It’s not difficult to imagine the class of person who would want to be accredited — pig-thick playground bullies; the sort of swaggering oaf you see at your local Arndale Centre, done up like a member of the NYPD and swinging his walkie-talkie like a six gun; sexual inadequates who seek solace in prying into the private lives of others; the scum of the earth who become wheel clampers; Max and Paddy pub bouncers in bomber jackets; and illegal immigrants presently working as traffic wardens.

These are the kind of characters the Home Secretary thinks should be a.‘key component of the extended police family’....

As per the PCSO's he makes the very valid point of abuse of power:

You know from bitter experience that if you give anyone in authority any kind of power they will always, always, always abuse it.

In this case, the scope for abuse is almost unlimited. Any villain can pull on a hi-viz jacket, slap a sheriff ’s badge on his lapel, arm himself with a clipboard and a fake two-way radio and start stopping cars and demanding entry to people’s homes.

How will anyone, especially the elderly and vulnerable, be sure who is ‘accredited’ and who isn’t?

Labour has trashed the notion of privacy, torn up the idea that an Englishman’s home is his castle.

Under the hardline communists of New Labour the ways that the state can enter your home has rocketed. Hundreds of new powers of entry have been created since 1997, including ones relating to illegal gambling, congestion charging, high hedges and weapons of mass destruction.

Some 753 separate “big brother” provisions in acts of parliament and a further 290 minor regulations. A total of 430 of these powers have been approved by parliament since Labour came to power.

A standing army of inspectors and enforcers has statutory power to demand entry
to our property. Our private records, bank accounts, emails and phone calls are an open book.

Town Halls use laws designed for anti-terrorism operations to sift through people’s rubbish, mount Spooks-style surveillance operations against people suspected of living ten yards outside a school catchment area and use satellite technology to spy on anyone guilty of adding a conservatory without declaring it to the tax department.

The law needs to be enforced but it needs a real police officer to do that, the PCSO's have failed, as will the new "Community Safety Accreditation Schemes" just wait for the stories of small cock'd wankers picking on elderly grandads for taking a photo of their kids in the wrong area...

But it should be done by properly trained, properly accountable police officers.

Good policing starts from the bottom up, not the top down. If ministers really cared about ‘anti-social behaviour’ they would get the police out on the streets, feeling collars and dragging hooligans before the courts.

But Labour is about box-ticking, target-hitting and quotas. That’s why they favour fixed-penalty fines and cautions.

It all goes towards the ‘clear-up’ rate. And because they’ve failed to provide enough prison places, real criminals are walking free.

Littlejohn finishes with the classic line:

What would Orwell have made of it?

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I have covered Richard Brunstrom, head of North Wales police before, this is just a re-cap if you will of one of the more eccentric police officers running things here in the UK:

http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2008/02/ian-lucas-mp-re-richard-brunstrom-paul.html

http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2007/11/by-their-friends-ye-shall-know-them.html

http://newportcity.blogspot.com/2007/04/richard-brunstrom-traffic-taliban.html

Brunstrom who when appointed announced that he was "going large" on drivers, has put squillions of speed cameras across his zone of control, described people who drive at 32 in a 30mph zone as "yobs"

At one point North Wales finest under his orders nicked some 32,333 speeding "yobs" in just five months. A nice earner for HM Govt.

He called for cars to be fitted with limiters to stop them going over 70mph no matter what the circumstances. Oh he also turned a blind eye to the 102 drivers in North Wales Police who were caught speeding.

But like the champagne socialists of New Labour who he serves, he also sees nothing wrong with treating himself to a perk out of the public purse. He drives a 140mph E-class Merc, thanks to North Wales taxpayers. I have no idea if a limiter has been fitted to the vehicle?

He is also known for his use of pictures of a man killed in a road accident with permission, calling a press conference to attack a pensioner who had the nerve to complain about a speeding ticket.

His juniors attacked a Tory candidate Felicity Elphick for racism, threatening her with a "swift police response" for complaining that they should not put people in the same category as those they dealt with in Caia Park.

Caia Park was a sink estate that had a riot in 2003 between locals and illegal migrants resulting in 80 arrests.

Then there was his investigations into racism by Tony Blair and The Weakest Link host Anne Robinson over harmless remarks they had made about the Welsh.

He is in favour of legalising heroin and giving out free needles, been photographed dressed as a Druid! Oh and in what is one of the wettest areas of the UK he handed out free sun tan lotion to officers to protect them from skin cancer. How sweet!

Not that he has done much to tackle real crime, the burglary clear up rate was just 6% at one stage.

But the best one was an edict from Mullah Brunstrom to muzzle police dogs in case they bite suspects. He issued a manual training warning that the use of dogs "has the potential to breach human rights".

His plan was that instead of biting, the dog could launches itself like a missile at the suspect. Sgt Ian Massie explained "It is one of the additional options open to us to muzzle our dogs ans get them to use a headbutt."

There we have the state of policing in North Wales!

Tags: Richard Brunstrom
Traffic Taliban
Tasers

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Another day another data leak, well thrown away in fucking skip!

A bundle of sensitive files linked to a massive police drugs bust have been found dumped at a Lancashire tip.

A probe has been launched after more than 100 "restricted" statements from police officers and forensic experts were discovered lying in a giant bin at Farington Moss recycling centre near Leyland.

They reveal personal details about suspects and witnesses linked to Operation Montrose, run by Merseyside Police from 2004, which led to 59 drug traffickers being locked up for a combined 340 years.

They detail how police seized items including brown powders, bundles of cash and mobile phones across the country.

The papers provide information linked to a Liverpool Crown Court case involving Liverpool gang leader Paul Hannon and eight others, including driver Terence Sims, of Clifton Avenue, Leyland, who is now serving a 16-year jail sentence....

I wonder what will be next...

Certain MP's have been arguing that data loss on the part of the state and if this loss was done by either the police or the courts then that comes under the control of the state; has had no fiscal cost to the public.

Well that is as may be however the crowing MP's who seem to think that this somehow lets the government off the hook, should consider both the duty of care to keep our information safe and secure, as well as the prospect that in this case someone could have passed the information onto criminals.

Mind you I am sure that should that have happened, our MP's and ministers in Labour would have been claiming that it was nothing to do with them.

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This really doesnt even surprise me anymore, yet another Guardianista employed by the pro-Islamist BBC whittering on about how nice and misunderstood the Taliban are:

A BBC news girl attacked TV yesterday for failing to show viewers the Taliban’s “humanity”.

Presenter Lyse Doucet’s astonishing statement comes as an Apache gunship hero revealed the fanatics aim to capture a British soldier and SKIN HIM LIVE on the internet.

Military Cross winner Ed Macy — whose book Apache is serialised in The Sun from today — tells how an intelligence officer gave details of the Taliban butchers’ sick plan.

It made Army Air Corps Warrant Officer Macy and his comrades even more determined to rescue a mortally wounded Marine from a Taliban stronghold — which they did with four soldiers strapped to the outside of two Apaches.

But BBC World News correspondent Doucet claimed the public also want to seeing the kinder side of the Afghan extremists.

Asked what was missing in media coverage, she said: “It may sound odd but the humanity of the Taliban, because they are a wide, very diverse group of people.”

Canadian-born Doucet, 49, told the Edinburgh TV festival: “Some would like to talk to the British Government. Some of them don’t want to be fighting British troops. Some of them would. This is the ideological Taliban.”

How typical, one has to wonder if Ms Doucet would be so happy about the Taliban were she unable to voice an opinion if she were a woman under their control, would she be so kind towards them if she were whipped for daring to step outside without being covered from head to toe.

She unlike many women in that part of the world has had the advantages of an education, something they deny their womenfolk. Believing that their role is just that of a servile wife and mother.

No doubt as she was growing up she had the posters of Che on her bedroom walls whilst complaining her parents were "capitalist exploiters" for making her do her homework of an evening.

So an education in hand she trots off to join fellow lefties at the BBC.

Oh, the humanity.

Maybe Ms Doushitcet can explain quite where the humanity is from people who insist on a woman being dressed up in full islamic garb to protect her modesty and then having her brains blown out by some koran toting savage?

Maybe she even approves of their prohibitions - such as bans on clapping during sports events; kite flying; beard trimming; or sports for women. Quite how that fits in with her happy clappy left wing ideas of peace and love I don't know?

Men were required to have a beard extending farther than a fist clamped at the base of the chin. On the other hand, they had to wear their head hair short. Men were also required to wear a head covering.

Possession was forbidden of depictions of living things, including photographs of them, stuffed animals, and dolls. Sorry Ms Doushitcet but the wall posters of Che have to come down!

In newly conquered towns hundreds of religious police beat offenders — typically men who shaved and women who were not wearing their burqa properly — with long sticks.

Women in particular were targets of the Taliban's restrictions. They were prohibited from working; from wearing clothing regarded as "stimulating and attractive," - I wonder if her rose tinted love of the smelly barbarians in the hills of Tora Bora would be quite so vocal had she been on the receiving end of a caning from the religious police?

Maybe she thinks that much of what has been put across is Western propaganda, so lets get some quotes from Taliban members:

Taliban official Mullah Mohammed Hassan explained that "of course we realize that people need some entertainment but they can go to the parks and see the flowers, and from this they will learn about Islam."

The Education Minister Mullahs Abdul Hanifi told questioners that the Taliban "oppose music because it creates a strain in the mind and hampers study of Islam."

Then of course there is the massacres of Hazara at Mazar-i-Sharif and Bamiyan, where some 8000 noncombatants were reported killed. Bodies left to rot, even animals were shot in an orgy of bloodletting in a fine example of the Talibans "humanity".

Over to another of the Taliban for a quote on their humanity to their fellow human beings, Mullah Niazi, the commander of the attack and governor of Mazar said after the attack, in a declaration from Mazar's central mosque:

"Last year you rebelled against us and killed us. From all your homes you shot at us. Now we are here to deal with you. The Hazaras are not Muslims and now have to kill Hazaras. You either accept to be Muslims or leave Afghanistan. Wherever you go we will catch you. If you go up we will pull you down by your feet; if you hide below, we will pull you up by your hair.

Lyse Doushitcet a silly girl who needs to grow up.

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Because it amuses me.

A very under rated comdian who could show many of the so called comedians about today a few things.

Also posted below

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New Labour scum use saving the planet as an excuse to milk the cash cowstaxpayers of ever more money.

Every family in Britain is paying nearly £800 a year in a 'dishonest' green tax grab, a shocking report said last night.

Hard-pressed households are forking out the staggering sum on flights, fuel and for their cars even though it is 'unnecessary', said low tax campaigners.

Figures published by the TaxPayers' Alliance (TPA) suggest hard-working Britons pay £19.6billion a year too much in tax aimed at covering its carbon footprint.

They said it was 'unjust' on families who were being forced to tighten their belts as they struggled to pay the soaring cost of food, energy and home loans.

An analysis of official statistics found that the Government raked in £33billion in 'green' taxes in 2007-08 - up from £30.9billion the year earlier.

The levies included fuel duty, vehicle excise duty, landfill tax, climate change levy and the renewables obligation, which is the cost to the taxpayer of power companies generating electricity from environmentally-friendly energy sources.

After all best not to complain, we have to pay for all those 2nd homes for MP's, their expenses, girl/boyfriends, prostitutes, free flights and socialist la la looney policies. Still so long as the socialists can retire with a full index linked pension and enough champagne to keep them pissed in their dottage they care not a flying fuck about us.

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Official figures showed that central government spent a total of £391 million on advertising, marketing, PR and other presentational work in 2007-08.

The total is up by £53 million on the previous year, when it was £338 million - a rise of almost 16 per cent.

When he took office last year, Mr Brown pledged a new sort of politics and sought to distance himself from his predecessor, who was frequently accused of being too heavily involved in spin and presentation.

But since last June, Mr Brown has faced repeated charges that he is at least as inclined to spin as Mr Blair.

**Right, so lets get this clear the government has spent a fucking huge £391 million quid of our money - not there money as there is no thing as government money although try explaining that concept to the fuckers who piss it away like water - spending it on feeding up bullshit.

Whats worse is the PM who claims to be "prudent" and whitters on about "economic stability" has actually wasted a total of £53 million more than the wanker who held the post before him.

Earlier this year, the annual wage bill for the Prime Minister's special advisers was estimated to have risen by more than £350,000 to £1.75 million - roughly the same as when Mr Blair was at No 10.

The latest spending figures are revealed in the annual report of the Central Office of Information, which co-ordinates government marketing, advertising and PR work.

The Information Office's total spending has more than trebled since Labour came to power in 1997. The latest figures show that the government spent £167 million on advertising, as well as £29 million on PR and sponsorship and £12 million on "strategic consultancy".

**Special advisers, Jesus H Christ its like the old tale of the emperors new clothes. Is there not one of them who is willing to actually earn his chunk of the £1.75 million and tell the one eyed PM that he is a totally useless cunt who is bleeding the country white.

Then again look at that last paragraph, the money pissed away by the Information Office has trebled since they came into power. So I guess as more shit hits the fan, as more fuck ups, sleaze, bullshit, lies, duplicity and theft on the part of these amoral fucking cunts comes to light the more the scum have to spend in order to make the gullible believe that all is well.

Greg Clark MP, Shadow Minister for the Cabinet Office, said the figures showed that Mr Brown's talk of a "new politics" had been a sham.

He said: "At a time when families and businesses are having to cut back, Gordon Brown is increasing spending on promoting himself and his government. Spending on PR and advertising has rocketed under Gordon Brown's premiership by over four times the rate of inflation, and now Labour want to spend even more.

"It is a sign of just out of how out of touch Gordon Brown is with the situation facing ordinary people that he thinks it reasonable to let rip with spending on PR and advertising while telling everyone else they have to tighten their belts."

**Bastards, utter contemptible fucking money wasting champagne socialist scum. I am so angry at my taxes being wasted like this I could punch Gordon's lights out.

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The police state creeps one bit closer:

Despite lacking formal police training, hundreds of civilians have been made part of the "extended police family" by the Home Office under little-known legislation.

They have not been asked to wear any special uniforms to identify themselves, but must wear only a badge that can be as small as 73mm x 80mm.

The disclosure that hundreds of civilians have been given enforcement powers drew accusations that the Government is encouraging the spread of unaccountable policing.

The Home Office revealed yesterday that more than 1,600 non-police officers have been given enforcement powers under its so-called Community Safety Accreditation Schemes.

The schemes, introduced in 2002 legislation, give chief constables the power to serve penalty notices for activities including disorder, truancy, cycling on pavements, littering and dog fouling. They can also be used for seizing alcohol from under-age drinkers and to demand people's names and addresses.

And I am sure that these busybodies will never ever abuse their powers, that all will be well.

A total of 1,406 staff from 95 "approved organizations" including local councils and private companies have been given enforcement powers.

This fucking tosser is a Stalin with one eye.

Just great, as if worthless cunts who make up the PCSO's were not bad enough, now every small cock'd fucker with a clipboard and a penis envy complex will be there ready to enforce petty regulations.

They will have a self satisfied glow afterwards with the feeling that they have done as good job helping push the jews and untermenchen onto the trains for relocation in the East. piss off members of the public.

He has his eye on our freedoms.

Another 255 people have been given powers as Vehicle Operator Services Agency Inspectors, who are issued with the single power to stop vehicles for the purpose of testing.

In 2006, there were only 950 accredited workers for 71 organisations.

Dominic Grieve, the Conservative shadow home secretary, said the scheme was the latest example of the unjustified extension of surveillance powers under Labour.

He said: "The public will be angered that the Home Office is seeking to take serious powers that should be appropriately applied by the police and encouraging them to be given not just to local councils, but also to private firms.

"The public want to see real police on the streets discharging these responsibilities, not private firms who may use them inappropriately - including unnecessarily snooping on the lives of ordinary citizens."

One has to ask quite how much of our money as taxpayers is being paid to these companies to spy on the public?

A Home Office spokesperson said: "Community Safety Accreditation Schemes enable Chief Constables to designate limited powers to employees of organisations who contribute towards community safety.

"CSAS supports Neighbourhood Policing by building links, improving communications and helping in the delivery of effective policing to neighbourhoods. Accredited Persons have a key role to play in the delivery of Neighbourhood Policing and are an important part of the extended police family."

Gordon gives state control the thumbs up.

The StasiHome Office can take a flying fuck. Roll on the election when we can boot these champagne socialist fascist cunts out of office.

One has to ask what happens should one of these arseholes government secret police decide to push his/her powers to far? Also should they be refused due to not wearing a uniform will we have yet more people turned into criminals, in much the same way that Labour has turned many into criminals over bins, parking, and so much more.

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Hat tip to Reverse for this...

(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as 'C*****mas'.

(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.

(3) You allow your children to read uncensored versions of Winnie the Pooh.

(4) You aren't prepared to cast the first stone at a rape victim.

(5) You believe that the earth is round.

(6) You think there's something weird about a 53 year old man marrying a six year old girl.

(7) You think that repeatedly banging your head on the floor five times a day might be a symptom if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

(8) You object to being a third class citizen in your own country.

(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity and enrichment when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.

(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a raging mob of savages.

(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.

(12) You aren't convinced that 'Jihad' means 'Inner Spiritual Struggle'.

(13) You don't understand why the Jews must be exterminated.

(14) You aren't married to at least one of your cousins.

(15) You aren't erotically attracted to toddlers.

(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.

(17) You occasionally wonder what's inside those walking tents.

(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican drink.

(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.

(20) You don't appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.

(21) You claim to understand the meaning of "Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don't speak Arabic.

(22) You don't get sexually aroused by kissing meteorites.

(23) You have reservations about 'faith schools' where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense.

(24) You don't understand why flying your country's flag has become a hate-crime.

(25) You don't believe that God is a brothel-keeper.

**Update:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to
beer.

2. You own a £3,000 machine gun and £5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your arse with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
"unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.

9. You've often uttered the phrase, " I love what you've done with your
cave."

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat

EVALUATING YOUR SCORE
How many of the questions did you answer 'YES' ?

On a scale of 0 to 25...
0 you are a Dhimmi and will be nominated for the Neville Chamberlain/Jens Byskov dhimmi award/Peace Prize.

1 to 5 you are a Najis Kaffir.

6 to 10 you are an Islamophobe.

11 to 15 you are a Thought Criminal.

16 to 20 you are an Enemy of Allah.

21 to 25 you are a Zionist Crusader offspring of pigs and monkeys.

Fatwas are automatically awarded for all scores above 5.
Fatwas will be posted in plain brown paper envelopes in a choice of laminated or embossed styles, generously sprinkled with ricin, anthrax, sarin and polonium.

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New Labour spying on the public: link

The sex lives of council-tax payers are being secretly monitored by local authority inspectors to establish whether residents claiming single person’s discounts are really living alone.

Undercover snoopers are being used to find out how often lovers visit and whether supposedly single residents are sharing a bed every night with the same person.

They appear to miss the point of "living alone" which is one person living in a property, should that person have someone or indeed several persons over for the night that really is no business of the state.

Local authorities have adopted the techniques after the government urged them to carry out “spot checks” on properties where a single-person council-tax discount is claimed. Councils are also demanding that householders give access to their bedrooms in return for the single-person discount. Inspectors can use the searches to check bedrooms for evidence of live-in lovers not disclosed to the authorities.

God I hate them, authoritarian cunt bubbles the lot of them. Any excuse for the champagne socialists to snoop into peoples lives.

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Russia recognises South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

But western countries, including the US, Germany, Britain and France immediately condemned the move.’

So one rule for Kosovo and another for them....

Still nice to see worthless craven coward and amoral slimeball David Milicuntband has been issueing meaningless words that he can in no way back up.

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Playing the victim card today is Dr Derrick Campbell, who complains that:

Cutting funding to community groups is tantamount to "leaving black youths to die", according to an independent adviser to the Home Office.

Yeah right whatever Derrick.

He told the BBC: "We have clear evidence of organisations which used to be funded and have delivered on outcomes but have suddenly not been supported.

"And we have to ask the question whether there seems to be an acceptance that if another black youth is killed they are just another one that we don't have to worry about.

"Black youths within this country have been left to die. And that's a very strong statement but it's a statement that seems to be borne out through evidence about black youths who seem to be at the top of the list when it comes to our youngsters being killed."

Right so lets get this right here, if the state that is us civilized types who dont shoot each other fail to provide funding to "support" blacks then they are going to die? Some rascist agenda implied here me thinks.

One could argue that Derrick who makes his living in the black victimhood equality industry.

I wonder how said black youth survived before state funding, before Derrick was there to make a living off of the black community....?

Now I hate to poke a 9mm hole in his arguement but is itr not a fact that the majority of black murders are committed by fellow blacks.

Still Derrick has had some state funding and here is the details:(it was £1m just between 2004/5 and 2006/7), but he not happy with whiteys efforts.

Derrick aims a cap at whitey.

Maybe if Derrick really wants to make a difference he should not be pictured holding a rather large shooter and looking like an extra from some "urban" gangsta movie.

Just put is name in Google and do an image search.

I shall finish with a quote from a film I watched the other week:

Yo Nigger this is how yo cap the man.

Still here is Derricks card in the "Victimhood Poker" hand...

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Here is the worst PC in the UK, a total steaming pile of pigshyte of an officer, yes step forward PC Aqil Farooq.

When Andrew Carter saw a police van ignore no-entry signs to reverse up a one-way street to reach a chip shop, he was understandably moved to protest to the driver.

Particularly as he lives on the road and always goes out of his way to obey the signs.

But his complaint brought a volley of abuse from PC Aqil Farooq.

First off PC Aqil Farooq is in the wrong then he verbally abuses a member of the public.

And when Mr Carter took a picture of the van then tried to photograph the officer, PC Farooq rushed out of the shop and knocked his camera to the ground.

Next up add possible damage by PC Aqil Farooq to Mr Carters camera.

Mr Carter was then arrested and bundled into the van over claims he had 'assaulted' an officer with his camera, resisted arrest and was drunk and disorderly.

He was held in a police cell for five hours before being released on bail at midnight.

Then PC Aqil Farooq adds an attempt to pervert the course of justice. Just think about that, the officer is in the wrong, then he abuses a member of the public throws his camera to the floor and then attempts to fit him up for good measure.

Mr Carter, 44, lodged a complaint and has since received a personal apology from PC Farooq and Rob Beckley, deputy chief constable of Avon and Somerset Constabulary.

The force yesterday refused to comment on the case, except to say that the disciplinary process was resolved to Mr Carter's 'satisfaction'.

So no court appearance for PC Aqil Farooq then? Instead an attempt to brush this shit under the carpet.

It is understood no further action was taken against PC Farooq, who is a member of the Black Police Association's Avon and Somerset branch.

Now he could not be attempting to play the race card in his defence? Not that race should be an issue with regards the law.

According to a report from the Bristol Equalities Network published two years ago, PC Farooq's duties within the BPA included work with the wider community on 'good relations with the police'. At the time he was the branch's general secretary.

Yesterday, Mr Carter from Bedminster, Bristol, described his ordeal as a 'very frightening experience'.

The self-employed plumber was walking his dogs when he saw PC Farooq, who was with a female colleague, ignore no-entry signs to reverse along the road in January and park outside a fish and chip shop.

Mr Carter said: 'The no-entry signs mean you are supposed to drive all the way around the block, like I do every night, but there are a fair number of people who don't obey them.

'I was nearly knocked down once so when the police van did it I sort of said, "Hey mate no entry" but he just shouted out the window, "F*** off, this is police business".

Hmmm. Nice to see that PC Aqil Farooq has read the handbook on how to deal with the public in a polite and professional manner.

'But when I took a photo of them he came running out, battered the camera from my hand on to the floor and arrested me for three crimes, none of which I'd committed.'

PC Farooq and his unnamed colleague claim they were at the takeaway to examine CCTV footage relating to a separate event.

Mr Carter was never charged with any offence. His complaint over his wrongful arrest led PC Farooq to face a disciplinary tribunal last month, which Mr Carter attended.

Not charged because he was set up, or rather tried to be set up by dire PC Aqil Farooq.

PC Farooq made a face-to-face apology at the hearing.

Mr Beckley, who chaired the tribunal, apologised to Mr Carter in writing for PC Farooq's 'totally unacceptable' behaviour and said the officer's future performance will be monitored.

Mr Carter said he is 'relatively happy' with the outcome as he hadn't wanted the officer sacked. However, he is still pursuing compensation from the force.

Well he may not want PC Aqil Farooq sacked, but if he has attempted this once the question should be raised on will he be likely to do this again and more importantly has he got away with offences against the public before? Are there people out there with criminal records thanks to this officer lying his arse off. PC AqilFarooq should not have been disciplined, the man should see the inside of a court room for attempting to pervert the course of justice.

Maybe the fact that he is not in court is that the officers above PC Aqil Farooq fear him playing his "race card", so its time for a game of "Victimhood Poker"

So lets see his hand...
Well his name sounds moslem so he has a queen.
He's not likely to be a Christian.
Asian, always a good one.
Play the Indian card as well.
Oh and he can play the black card, as a member of the Black Police Association's Avon and Somerset branch.

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Due in no small part to former Prime Minister John Major.

Yes, indeed it was John who launched the National Lottery way back in 1994, and it is the National Lottery which has pumped squillions of pounds into funding British sport.

So before our dire unelected PM, casts his beady glassy stare at our sportsfolk and his spin doctors try to claim credit, it had best be pointed out that the results are as good as they are thanks to John Major setting up the lottery.

Mind you its all state funding when you get down to it, just we unlike some other nations do it via the back door.

Still keep an eye on cyclops, odds on he will be doing his best Harold Wilson impression in the same way that Mr Wilson exploited our 1966 World Cup win over Germany.

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Judging by this, this shows the steaming clusterfuck that will be the 2012 London Olympics: link

After choosing the song for the closing ceremony on Sunday they decided that some of the lyrics would have to be omitted or re-written amid concerns that they could cause offence.

Right lets get this clear, the song has been out for decades so who is it going to offend?

The song was chosen as the centrepiece of an eight-minute £2.5million British segment at the event in Beijing at which the Olympic flag will be officially passed to the London Mayor Boris Johnson.

Way to go, piss away a cool £2.5million quid for eight minutes in which a flag is handed over. Nothing like value for money and that is nothing like value for money.

Organisers of the London 2012 Games commissioned the band's guitarist Jimmy Page to record a new version of the song to be performed on top of a special red double-decker bus accompanied by Leona Lewis, winner of the ITV reality television show The X Factor, with David Beckham looking on.

Oh the class! Aging rocker playing on a double decker bus with some non entity from chavscum tv, whilst a footballer looks on.

Still at least it was not a London bendy bus, apparently Boris don't like them.

But, according to London 2012 officials, Lewis - who grew up in east London close to the Olympic site - requested a change to the song's second verse because she was worried they would not make sense for a female singer.

So a classic song gets amended due to the inability of a chavscum tv singer to make sense of said lyrics?!

The band also agreed to a request from organisers to drop the third verse, which includes similar sexual innuendoes, to fit in to the eight-minute performance.

Just as well they did not choose to do the "Lemon Song" from the same album! But it gets better, well actually it don't...

As the Beijing mayor Guo Jinlong passes the flag to Boris Johnson, the Greenwich pips will herald the start of the London section of the show followed quickly by a rendition of the national anthem - including, unusually, its second verse, performed by 25 children from the National Youth Theatre.

A London bus will then be driven into the arena, chased by Britain's Olympic gold medal winning cyclists Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton.

The top section of the vehicle will open up like a "lotus flower" to reveal a stage from which elevated platforms will lift Lewis and Page. A further platform will rise up to reveal former England captain Beckham, flanked by a violinist and a cellist dressed in Britain's official Olympic kit.

Beckham, who featured in England's disappointing 2-2 draw against the Czech Republic at Wembley on Wednesday night, will then kick a football into a crowd of athletes in the centre of the arena.

Gasp, lets see some £2.5million for a bus, some "celebs" and we get to see Beckham kick a football.

Jesus wept, that phrase "David Beckham looking on" really does encapsulate every thing that is wrong with this nation right there, throw in the bint from chavscum tv and its a clusterfuck waiting to happen.

Also when said chavscum tv winner decides that a song has to be censoredamended on her say so.
Bloody New Labour Champagne Socialists who are spunking away our money on 2012.

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The picture in question (below) was photoshopped by some chap for a jape. However the dogs owner did not see the funny side.

So click the link and help spread this picture to other sites for a laugh!

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Had this one texted to me today.

Every time I turn on the Olympic track and field events, I see another Jamaican holding up a gold, silver, or bronze metal.

Come to think of it, the only other metal that's been touched by that many black hands would have to be the bonnet of a police car.

And...

Watching the Olympic 100 metres reminded me of going to a night-club in London.

You hear a gunshot and then a dozen niggers go tearing away fast as they can.

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Well here is one from the "you could not make it up files"....

My piss poor, libel case losing MP the dire and past his sell by date (I don't like this chap very much if you have not guessed) Paul Flynn came up with this crap on his webshyte, the tedious "Read my day"

How many people have been harmed by the loss of Government computer information?

I put the question last month to Minister Ed Milliband and head of the civil service Gus O’Donnell. In harmony they said 'nobody'.

So guess that makes it all okay, carry on as normal then losing our data and pissing away countless billions on ID cards that will be of no use to man nor beast.

Not one, not two but three totally inept fuckers who miss the bleeding obvious point that it is our information that is being lost, the fact that we may not have lost any monies is a non point.

Had this worthless shower of shit any clue what so ever they would realise that they should have a duty of care to ensure that our information is treated in a responsible manner.

I hate them all. Socialist wankers the lot of them....

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Just get the fucking attitude of this worthless jobsworth with the small cock and authoritarian attitude.

Yep its the fucking useless Blunketts plod, the dire PCSO's(Police Community Support Officers) or useless cunts as I more commonly call them.

Give a twat a clipboard or PCSO/Police uniform and fucking watch out.

Although here in the UK we also have a fucking shyte train company(that I have the misfortune to use each week) called Arriva that employ legions worth of these people.

Oh and for your enjoyment here is another worthless cunt who thinks that you need some form of permission to take photos in a public place.

Why do I think that these people rather than some form of porn must use health & safety manuals to a get a hard on?

More on this can be found here: Wired.com

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A keen recycler has been banned from using his wheelbarrow to take his rubbish to a local tip after it was branded 'too dangerous'.

The appropriately-named Andre Wheeler must now take his rubbish by car instead, health and safety officials have said.

The 61-year-old, who has wheeled his glass, cans, paper and garden waste to a tip near his home for more than eight years, described the ban as 'nonsense'.

'It's too ridiculous for words,' said Mr Wheeler. 'Telling me to burn petrol to recycle is hardly going to save the planet - it's nonsense.'...

Site operator Leicestershire County Council said safety was its first concern. 'The site has been designed for people to arrive in vehicles, because users tend to bring bulky waste which they cannot get rid of through household collections,' added a spokesman.

**We are ruled by morons, total thick pen pushing cunts with small cocks and no concept of reality what so ever.

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Oh for fucks sake!

The personal details of up to 130,000 of Britain's most prolific criminals have been lost by the home office, it emerged last night.

A memory stick containing the names, addresses and dates of birth of the current and former crooks went missing on Monday.

It included data on up to 10,000 convicts classified as the country's most serious offenders.

The Conservatives labelled the breach scandalous and warned that it could lead to criminals suing the government. Shadow home secretary Dominic Grieve said: 'This is a massive failure of duty.

Quite what is it with Labour & losing our data? Almost every part of government leaks like the Titanic. Hell I bet the Russians need not send spies over here, they just wait long enough and the information will just be leaked or left on the train.

'What is more scandalous is that it is not the first time the government has been shown to be completely incapable of protecting the integrity of highly sensitive data.

'The British taxpayer will be absolutely outraged if they are made to pick up the bill for compensation to serious criminals.'

The lost information was copied from the JTrack database, used by police and other agencies to monitor criminals when they are out of custody.

It comprises 84,000 prisoners, 33,000 names on the police national computer and up to 10,000 criminals classified as prolific and other priority offenders.

It was misplaced by 'an external contractor', the home office said.

A spokesman for home secretary Jacqui Smith said: 'A full investigation is being conducted.'

Inept wankers the lot of them.

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Not interested in the media fest about this fucking vile man. He gets caught, serves his time and lo and behold the media ever desperate for a pedo story and all expenses trip to tropical parts are there in huge numbers to meet him.

Seriously he gets thrown out and sent back here and the media have reporters on the plane covering his every move, still an excuse for a large expenses bill and a free trip to the far east for the hacks involved.

Both they and Gadd can fuck off and die as far as I am concerned(or rather not).

**Jacqui Smith, the dire Home Secretary, took to the airwaves yesterday to announce new initiatives to prevent paedophiles from travelling as “sex tourists”. Yep, our fucking dire politicos ever the ones to play to a mob and hopefully blag a vote or two jump on the media fuckfest following Gary Glitter.

Sure if they wish to remove their passports that is one thing, although how long before some accused pedo claims that is against their human rights and sues for the right to travel. Oh and what if they have - like so many these days - dual nationality? Do we deport or trap them here, guess poor dim Jacqui Smith has not quite ironed that out.

Still poorly thought out, knee jerk policies seem to be something that Labour do a lot of.

Maybe she should stick to kebab eating with police and adding ever more weight on that large rump of hers.

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Gordon Brown hailed British troops fighting the Taliban as the true heroes of the Olympic year.

The Prime Minister spent 90 minutes meeting and talking to troops at Camp Bastion - the main UK base in Afghanistan - during a stopover on his way to the Games in Beijing.

But he was unable to escape his domestic troubles. During a joint press conference in Kabul with President Karzai he faced repeated questions over whether his own position was under threat.

In a speech to some 300 troops from 16 Air Assault Brigade, Mr Brown said that the nation owed them a "huge debt of gratitude".

**Such a shame that his own government fails to supply the troops with proper kit. As well as not providing decent housing for them. A start on either of those might be a proper way of paying the "huge debt of gratitude"

"You know that you are in the frontline in the fight against the Taliban. You know that by what you are doing here you prevent terrorism coming to the streets of Britain," he declared.

Whilst forgetting that his worthless shower of amoral socialist scum allowed the Afghan plane hijackers to live here in the UK.

"This week we are celebrating the Olympics where we have had great success. But this week also I believe that our Olympic athletes and everybody else in our country will remember that you have showed exactly the same courage, professionalism and dedication. You make our country proud every day of the week and every week of the year. You are truly the heroes of our country."

**Heroes of the hour as far as Brown is concerned, some soundbites, a bit of whaffle and he shall fly away forgetting all about them within the hour.

Never a sodding jihadist about when you need one. Nice one Abdul thanks to not capping that one eyed man we are stuck with the fucker.

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I wrote to Cardiff MP Julie Morgan, with regards what I was told about Tesco closing their back office at Ty Glas and shipping the work to India. A case of living up their slogan of "Every little helps"

Sadly she has chosen to not bother to reply to myself.

Link to article and my e-mail to her.

Although she did find time for signing an EDM on the use of music in torture, as well as London Jewellery week.

A shame for the workers of Cardiff that she could not be bothered to raise this issue or even to acknowledge that she has recieved the e-mail from myself.

Another MP deserving of a swift kick to the cunt.

One would think that Julie(above) having claimed the princely sum of £132,127 for expenses from the public purse for the year 2006/07(on top of her wages that is), that she could at least provide some public service to the soon to be out of work employees of Tesco.

A shame that Tesco will be allowed to throw loyal workers out of work in order to "save costs" whilst not having to answer any awkward questions asked by MP's as the MP in question really does not appear to care about the workers.

Still if for no other reason that she voted for ID cards, I shall call her a cunt.

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A man went to blockbuster and said can i rent out slumdog millionaire, he then went home and played it and jade goody popped up, so he took it back to blockbuster and said i asked for slumdog millionaire and the person said, sorry i thought you said some dog with no hair. 

Coincidence? http://i40.tinypic.com/2r7r8co.jpg

I always knew Jade Goody was a racist but I think becoming a skinhead was a step too far...

What is the difference between Jade Goody and a moped?
A moped can reach 30.

How do you cure cancer?
I'll let you all know in a few weeks - kinda waiting on something first.

Whats the difference between Cancer and a Goat?
Jade Goody can't milk a goat.

If you have the Jade Goody 2009 calendar, could you please check and see if it's got all the months in it? Mine only goes up to March.

Jade Goody was looking great at her wedding today
Not a hair out of place

To the theme of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air:
South East England, born and raised
On Reality TV, where I spent most of my days
Being racist and acting a fool
Was disgusting, destroyed all the gene pool
When a couple of cells, who were up to no good
Started making cancer in my vaginalhood
I got one bit of cancer and my doctors got scared
They said, "We're putting you on chemo, say goodbye to your hair!"

Jack Tweed to sell his story to THE SUN……
In others news
Pope is Catholic
Bears shit in the woods

Why wasn't Jade Goody cremated? Cos they couldn't find an apple big enough to fit her mouth!

You guys need to be careful. Being racist can give you cancer.

Does anyone else think "Don't Fuck with Shilpa Shetty" t-shirts would be a good business idea?

Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.

Why all the fuss about Jade Goody dying? She's 189 in dog years.

Apparently Jade Goodys kids bought her some flowers for mothers day but she died before they could give them to her, mind you, at least they won't go to waste.


What's the difference between Jade Goody and Rebecca Loos?
Rebecca Loos can wank a pig, but Jade Goody can milk a cancerous pussy.

Jade Goody's. Funeral arrangement's are being made. A lovely hearse, Then thrown into a tip in Essex.

Police have released details of why the woman who showed up at Jade Goodys bedside with a hammer wasnt charged with any offences, apparantly she also had a tape measure, saw, screwdriver and wood but she was told she was a few weeks early and released.

I'll fuckin piss myself if it happens on Mothers Day

Is sitting next to Jade Goody classed as a near death experience?

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING: Shoving a dirty wine bottle up your fanny in the Big Brother garden, may cause cancer.

Always read the small print Jade...

Had this texted to me the other day:

Felt a bit depressed this morning, what with the shit weather, the conflict in Eastern Europe, the economy in freefall and bad news filling the media, then I heard that Jade Goody had cancer and thought life is not so bad after all.

Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks.
Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour.

Another shit joke about cancer?
Oh goody

Jade Goody has been portrayed by the media as a heroine for raising awareness about cervical cancer, in spite of the fact that she forgot to have a smear test.

Last year, I forgot to turn off an unlit oven before leaving for work. The ensuing explosion killed my wife and three children.

Was I portrayed by the media as a hero for raising awareness about gas safety?

Was I fuck.

Jade Goody has said she hasn't told her kids about her illness as she doesn't want them worrying about the 'C' word.
But I'm sure with all the press coverage and kids talking at school, they already know their mum is a 'Cunt'.

It looks like karma exists; Jade Goody got cancer for making racist comments on TV.
It makes you wonder what's going to happen to us sick bastards?

Following the shocking news that Jade Goody has cancer there has been a plea for suitable donors of Bone Marrow to come forward, as this could save her life.
Alternatively, you could just donate it it to my dog- he is a bit peckish.
Please, make the right choice.

I see Boy George has been let out of prison early.
No, my mistake that's just Jade Goody.

I think its appalling that everyone's making jokes about Jade Goody having cancer.
Why can't you just be happy?

Snow white, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo are sitting in a pub with their mates.
Snow white says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the fairest in the land"
Tom thumb says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the smallest in the land"
Quasimodo says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the ugliest in the land"

Their mates tell them to prove it by going to the magic all-knowing mirror, and the three head off.

A few minutes later, the door of the pub bursts open and Snow White runs in and says "Its official...I'm the fairest in the land!"

Shortly afterwards, the door again bursts open and Tom Thumb runs in and shouts "Its official...I'm the smallest in the land!"

Five minutes later, the door gets kicked in and Quasimodo storms in and bellows "Who the fuck is Jade Goody?"


I heard that Jade Goody's ex has been sent to prison.
It's nice to know the police are cracking down on bestiality.

Apparently Jade wants to donate her organs to allow other families to have their lives changed.
They will be delivered to them in "Goody bags".

Jade Goody says she's worried she may not live to care for her sons as they grow up.
Well, some things are for the best, Jade.

NEWS FLASH
They said that people in India were burning effiggies of Jade Goody. They weren't, they were barbecuing a pig.

Jade Goody just released a statement: "We ain't fucking racist. We got a coloured telly."

Jade Goody is considering going to a German clinic to see if they can give her a better standard of life.
Well I suggest she goes to a Swiss one to give everyone else one.

Jade Goody is tipped to win her local weightwatchers slimmer of the month award in September. October. November. And, if she lasts that long, December.

What word beginning with 'C' would you most associate with Jade Goody?
Suddenly that question's become that little bit more difficult.

Poor cancer. Imagine what it must feel like to have a doctor tell you that you're stuck in Jade Goody's fanny...

Jade Goody says her cancer hell has encouraged her to visit her estranged father's grave for the first time.
With a bit of luck she'll be able to move in before Christmas.

Cancer - Helping ugly people get married since 2009

Jade Goody – A Biography (taken from the News of The World)

1. She faced court action over thousands of pounds of unpaid rent.
2. Just hours after arriving (on Big Brother), she had flashed one of her boobs and left viewers stunned with a torrent of foul language.
3. Jade was a figure of ridicule. She was branded a “pig”, two-faced and ignorant. Rival contestants labelled her “thick” and “ugly”.
4. Viewers switched on to watch tipsy Jade strip off during a drinking game to flash her “kebab”.
5. She thought East Anglia was called East Angular, and that it was somewhere near Tunisia. And she reckoned Rio de Janeiro was a person.
6. Jade kept trotting out the clangers . . . Mona Lisa was painted by “Pistachio”, Mother Teresa was from Germany, Portugal was “in Spain” and “Saddam Hussein was a boxer”.
7. Jade put it best herself when she confessed: “I may not be the sharpest tool in the sandwich box.”
8. “If I hadn’t made it on Big Brother I would probably have been living in a council flat with my mum.”
9. Lapping up the publicity, she once told a reporter she planned to dedicate a room in her house to all her front-page covers.
10. She started dating Jack Tweed. Jade had spotted him in a nightclub before, but had no idea he was six years her junior. She was smitten from the start, and the couple had sex on their first date at London’s Sanderson Hotel.
11. Their romance was to be played out in the full glare of the public when they both went into the Celebrity Big Brother house in 2007—joined by Jade’s mum Jackiey. But the programme that made Jade almost broke her this time as she became embroiled in a race row with Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. She ranted at the actress: “You’re not some princess in f*****g Neverland. I don’t give a s**t. You’re a normal housemate like everybody else. You need to come to terms with that.” She added: “Go back to the slums and find out what real life is about lady.”
12. Later Jade confessed she wanted to headbutt the Indian actress and branded her “Shilpa Poppadom”.
13. Jade’s popularity nosedived overnight and Ofcom received a staggering 45,000 complaints. Her perfume was removed from the shelves and her autobiography dropped by publishers.
14. She then contracted cancer and turned out to be a fucking saint.

FOR SALE
One blonde wig, unwanted mothers day present. £10 ono
Call Jack - 07784475777 (Essex area)

They won't be taking Jade Goody's body away for two or three days as the binmen are on strike.

In memory of Jade Goody, Pixar & Disney are collabarating to make an animated movie based on her life...."Finding Chemo"

Day 5 from the Big Brother coffin & Jade has still not moved.

See also: non-fucking-jade-goody-story-of-day.html

jade-goody-wedding-pics-leaked.html

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Lots on in the real world outside of internet land.

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From Burning Our Money:

• Inflation accelerating- CPI currently 4.4% and RPI 5%. The Governor of the Bank of England - the man charged with keeping it at 2% - admits it will go higher still
• Sterling collapsing - against our trade weighted basket of currencies, sterling is now down 13% over the last year... and the inflation pressure is up even further
• Unemployment taking off - now up to 5.4%... so just since Tuesday, the Misery Index has pushed up a further 0.2% to 10.4% (compared to just 9.6% in May 1997)
• Public finances disintegrating - in the first three months of this financial year the government clocked up a £20.4bn deficit, £8bn worse than last year... the collapse in the housing market on its own means a £3-4bn budgetary hole, and this morning's FT brought news that Merrill Lynch is charging $29bn of its global sub-prime losses against UK tax - which means they will pay no UK tax at all for several decades! (HTP Joan W)
• Home repossessions soaring - despite constant assurances that "it was much worse under the Tories", the latest stats for home repossession orders show they are already running at around 112,000 pa (2008 H1 sa), and climbing fast; that's actually only 30,000 less than the 143,000 recorded at the height of the Tory mess in 1991... so watch this space (and remember the stats next time Yvette Cooper tries to make out the Tories were worse).

So all I can add to that is if you voted Labour fuck you. Fucking grow up, seriously quite what the fuck are you thinking? Believe that the benefits will last forever, well sorry but when the recessioncredit crunch bites harder the first thing to be cut will be benefits.

No matter that the constant tax increases - paid for by business - mean that getting a job is going to get ever harder, thus leading to more out of work and the government then taxing more an more to pay the unemployed. One day the system will either be cut or just collapse.

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